TO: Phoebe Wu, ENGL 301 99A Student
FROM: Barton Lui, ENGL 301 99A Student
SUBJECT: Peer Review of Formal Report Draft
DATE: December 10, 2020
Hi Phoebe Wu,
Thank you for submitting this first draft, I have enjoyed reading about how to increase student registrations at Pott’s Education Studio.
First impression:
- The structure and organization of the report look great with relevant titles and subtitles for each section. You have included images that assist the reader in understanding your report which is very nice.
Content
- I found the result section is the most informative
- Understanding that your table of contents is still in working progress, consider using Microsoft Word to create a table of contents as it helps you update the page number and section automatically and chances of error.
- You have mentioned what Khan Academy does but did not explain why Potter Education Studio should do it as well. Provide some insights and opinions can further pursue the reader.
- For readers who have not used Weibo before, it is advisable to briefly explain what it is and how does it work.
- The report logically laid out with problems and solutions.
Organization
- The organization of the draft is clear and effective.
- Effective use of heads and sub headings.
- The link between the research findings and the application of the research results to the problem can be strengthened by adding more details.
Style
- The tone is objective and positive.
- The “You Attitude” was used effectively
Design
- Bar graphs are well-designed, correctly and effectively labelled.
- The report draft is reader-friendly and visually appealing with memes but should limit the number of memes used because it may be distracting for the readers.
It is an interesting report you have wrote and I am looking forward to reading the final version. Please feel free to let me know should you have any questions regarding my comments by emailing at bartonlui.ca@gmail.com
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