Review of Amina Moustaqim-Barrette Formal Report

Reviewer: Rodrigo Samayoa
Author: Amina Moustaqim-Barrette
Report: Formal Report Regarding Alternate Work-From-Home Policy

Dear Amina,

It was a pleasure reading through your draft report for the BC Centre for Disease Control, “Formal Report Regarding Alternate Work-From-Home Policy.” When I first opened the document, I was impressed by the very organized and professional formatting. The content of the report is also very well organized in a way that makes it easy to find information. The visuals are also very well done and give the report a more inviting feel.

I hope the following feedback is useful for making the final draft of the report.

Organization and Design

As stated above, the report is very well organized and has a very professional look to it. It is very clear what each section of the document contains and demonstrates that it was thoughtfully structured.

Letter of Transmission

  • The letter of transmission is very professional and brief. It does a good job at summarizing the contents of the report without going into detail.
  • Emphasizing the recommendations and how they can improve the workplace can help prioritize the reader’s attention to that section of the report, which is the most important part.
  • There are a couple of ‘you’ pronouns in the letter. Removing them will help strengthen the you-attitude of the letter.

Background

  • The background section does a good job at clearly stating the background of the report.
  • Considering the professional background of the reader of the report, removing the first sentence and rewording the second sentence can add brevity.
Original

On March 17, 2020, a public health emergency related to the ongoing pandemic of coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) (World Health Organisation) was declared. The strict physical distancing measures imposed as a result have impacted work, movement, social interactions, and access to essential goods and services (Andrea Woo).

Alternative

“Since the pandemic was declared, strict physical distancing measures have impacted work, movement, social interactions and access to essential goods and services (Andrea Woo).”

 

Problem Statement

  • This section is very brief, to the point and only includes important information, making it easy for the reader to absorb the information.
  • Briefly expanding on how the current work-from-home policies are affecting staff at the BCCDC can help emphasize the scope of the problem. Currently only one way in which the work-from-home policy is affecting staff is listed in this section.

Purpose of the Report

Good job stating the purpose. It is very clear and brief.

Research Plan and Data Sources

The letter of transmission states the report uses literature to understand the effects of work-from-home policies on employee work and home life. Including a brief description of these sources in this section of the report can help add legitimacy to the report.

Scope and limitations of the report

Good job at setting expectations and pointing out the need to reevaluate the results of the report as the pandemic evolves.

Results

  • The graphs displayed on this section do a great job at displaying the information in an easy to read manner and adding color and professionalism to the report.
  • Dividing the written information into bullet points or subsections can make the data easier for the reader to digest.
  • Adding more information about the context and implications of different alternatives proposed can give more clarity as to what these alternatives mean for management and staff.

Conclusion

  • Adding more analysis about the results and more information to the recommendations is important to sell these ideas to management.
  • Giving concrete examples of how current policies affect the workplace and how the recommended alternatives can help improve it will make it more clear why these alternatives are needed.

Works Cited

This is a very well sourced report and all the sources are well organized.

Style and Grammar

  • Writing dates with cardinal numbers (1, 2, 3) and adding a comma after the day is best practice when writing dates.
Original

December 1st 2020

Alternative

December 1, 2020

 

  • Separating the name of the organization and the address into two different lines can make the document more readable and professional.
Original

Noorjean Hassam

Chief Operating Officer

BC Centre for Disease Control, 655 W 12th Ave, Vancouver, BC

Alternative

Noorjean Hassam

Chief Operating Officer

BC Centre for Disease Control,

655 W 12th Ave,

Vancouver, BC

 

  • Using the BCCDC acronym consistently throughout the document after the name is written out for the first time can help make individual sentences more readable.
  • Shortening sentences can improve readability. This can be achieved by cutting clutter or redundant words, splitting a long sentence into multiple sentences or cutting redundant or unnecessary elements.
Before

As the public health arm of the British Columbia’s Provincial Health Services Authority, the BCCDC is uniquely placed given that it must both lead by example in having its employees work from home, while also continuing to do its work effectively in order to coordinate the response to the COVID-19 pandemic and ensure the population is able to continue working and living safely.

After

As the public health arm of British Columbia’s Provincial Health Services Authority, the BCCDC is uniquely placed, as it must both lead by example and continue to work effectively in order to coordinate the pandemic response.

 

  • Breaking up statistics and survey data into bullet points can help make the data more readable.
Before

When asked whether the employees preferred work-from-home to work-in-office, 50.0% (n = 6) responded that they preferred working from home, only 1 respondent (8.0%) reported preferring work from the office, while 5 respondents (41.7%) reported that they would prefer having a mixed work-from-home and work-from-office schedule.

After

When asked whether they preferred work-from-home to work-in-office,

  • 50.0% (n = 6) responded that they preferred working from home,
  • 1 (8.0%) reported preferring work from the office, and
  • 5 (41.7%) reported that they would prefer a mixed home and office work schedule.

 

  • Unnecessary commas can have the effect of breaking up the sentence and reducing the importance of what comes after.
Before

Nevertheless, working from home may have benefits over strict work-in-office options, allowing for more flexibility in individuals’ days, as well as eliminating commuting times (Wessels et al.).

After

Nevertheless, working from home may have benefits over strict work-in-office options, adding flexibility in individuals’ days as well as eliminating commuting times (Wessels et al.).

 

Before

The report also seeks to offer alternatives or adjustments to current policies, in order to increase worker health and safety, as well as the sustainability of such arrangements.

After

The report also seeks to offer alternatives or adjustments to current policies in order to increase worker health and safety and the sustainability of these arrangements.

 

  • When introducing a new idea or concept, adding context can help the reader understand the meaning of this idea or concept
Before

66.7% of respondents supported the option of the BCCDC allowing a de-centralized work-from-home policy, wherein teams organize their own space to abide by physical distancing measures, while 91.7% supported the option of expanding space in order to allow for more flexible office time.

After

66.7% of respondents supported the option of the BCCDC allowing a de-centralized work-from-home policy. This policy would allow teams to organize their own space and set their own policies to ensure physical distancing is followed.

Meanwhile, 91.7% supported the option of expanding the available work space in the office in order to allow for more flexible office time.

Conclusion

As stated above, the report is very well organized and has very professional formatting. It is very close to being a final draft. With more detail on the recommendations and a final proofread, this report will be ready to be turned in to the BCCDC.

Feel free to reach out if you have questions about this feedback. I hope this is helpful.

Link to report

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