To: Eugenia Fasciani, ENGL 301 99A Student
From: Claire Eccles, ENGL 301 99A Student
Date: December 10th, 2020
Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report
Thank you for preparing an intriguing and detailed formal report draft on “Increasing the Number of Participants in ACSA’s Mentorship Program.” Considering the following suggestions could strengthen this report, improving effectiveness and potential success of this endeavour.
First Impressions
This report is well organized, concise and comprehensive. Although there are minor inconsistencies, the information is clear and recommendations are realistic. The included graphics are relevant and provide a meaningful visual representation.
Introduction
- This section provides a clear overview of the ACSA.
- Is there any other reason besides lack of social media promotion for the program that has contributed to the decline? Understanding and presenting this may be helpful in shedding light on the issue at whole.
Statement of Problem
- This section does a great job at identifying the problem with no unneeded information.
Purpose of Study
- No errors or suggestions
Scope
- Along with likes and comments, including followers and following may be a useful examination too
- Point 3 in this section seems like two separate things. “ways this can be marketed based on social media trends” could fit better underneath.
Methods
- Great job including the opinions of the greater student body in the data collection process.
- I would be curious to know why this study implements online surveys for past and current executives, but oral surveys with a small number of former and current ACSA members. Will the oral and written surveys contain the same questions? Will they be quantitative (close-ended) or qualitative (open-ended questions)? This is important data to collect but just be sure all participants have equal opportunity to contribute. Making sure that oral and written surveys are succinct will help make sure of this and seems like an important clarification to make.
Survey Analysis
- The findings were informative and leads well into the conclusion.
Conclusion/recommendations
- As the reader, I am still curious about the cost of hiring a student for this work. Is this affordable or would it be a volunteer? Will the ACSA be required to make a cut elsewhere in order to gain another paid employee?
- There are inconsistencies in spacing between headings and start of paragraph throughout the report.
- See other sections for editing suggestions, other than that the report looks great.
Works Cited
- No notable errors
Grammar
- Semi colon after the first major heading “Introduction,” but no semi colon after second major section heading “Data section.” Address this to maintain consistency throughout the report.
- Beneath “scope,” point 5 reads “Costs associated with an online marketing campaign designed”. Dropping the “ed” in “designed” and adding a period at the end of this point would maintain consistency with other points.
- Some sentences include “Mentorship Program” with capitalization, however, this capitalization does not appear in other mentions of it.
Concluding comments
Overall, this report has shown a lot of strength and reads in a positive tone. The recommendations showcase a clear direction the ACSA could take to increase mentorship numbers. Fixing up minor inconsistencies would increase the impact of this report. Using this review to adjust the initial draft will help the final product.
If you have any other questions, please reach out via email to claire.eccles4@gmail.com.
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