To: Phoebe Wu, ENGL 301 99A Student
From: Jessica Lee, ENGL 301 99A Student
Date: Dec 13, 2020
Subject: Peer Review of Phoebe Wu’s Application Package Draft
Dear Phoebe,
Thank you for submitting your Application Package Draft, it was a great and insightful read. Please kindly find below a few comments I have for further improvements:
First Impression
The first impression was a positive one seeing that the draft had all the elements as listed on the Unit 4.1 page. The content was well-organized with appropriate lengths.
Original Job Posting
The job posting detailed the information clearly and had the correct MLA reference at the bottom of the page. This section could be improved if the text were in black, consistent with the rest of the draft’s font size and color. It’d also be great if the first four lines of the Original Job Posting section had a greater line spacing (e.g. 1.5 or 2) for readability.
Cover Letter
The cover letter was professionally written, relating closely to the strengths and content of the resume. However, there seems to be an inconsistency with the font size for the sentence “quickly adjust to take care of my students’ needs.”. Another recommendation would also be to stick with the positives and rephrase the sentence “As a student, I may lack work experience in software development” – there’s no need to mention any weaknesses to recruiters unless they ask!
Resume
The resume looked informative with all the appropriate elements included but needs a few editing:
- Hyperlinks should not be included in a resume as specified by the textbook.
- The correct order for a resume should be: Contact information, Carrer Objectives, Education, Work Experience, Personal Data and Interests. Please refer to the textbook for more information on this.
- The summary would work better if it were in short sentences/short paragraph form instead of bullet-pointed.
- The resume could be more organized if it had proper spacing between the Interests section and before the Reference Letter Requests.
Reference Letter Requests
The three letters looked organized and appropriate. It would be best if there could be a paragraph spacing between the last body paragraph and before the “Best,”.
Overall, your Application Package looks like it’s off to a great start and only needs a few editing. I hope you find my comments helpful and should you have any further questions or concerns, please feel free to let me know.
Jessica
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