Peer Review of Evan Ruiz’s Application Package

To: Evan Ruiz, ENGL 301 Student Writer
From: Amina Moustaqim-Barrette, ENGL 301 Student Reviewer
Date: December 15^th, 2020
Subject: Peer review of your Application Package

Hello Evan,

Thank you for submitting your draft application package. The application package looks professional and reads well. Please find a few comments and suggestions included below for incorporation before final submission:

Initial impressions:

The application package looks great. Great job formatting and including relevant details related to your professional and educational experiences. The qualifications presented make for a strong application for the posted internship position.

Organisation:

• This assignment is well laid-out and designed, with high quality writing.
• The headings used made the document flow and easy to follow, and the language used throughout the assignment was appropriate and accessible to readers.
• Great logical flow throughout the report, which provides an interesting narrative from problem statement to proposed recommendations

Expression:

• Overall, the writing has a professional tone and is of very high quality, as well as being clear and concise
• Style flows well and is very pleasant to read; reflects a professional and positive attitude
• Resume looks great, and content is well laid-out

Suggestions:

Resume

• Great content!
• Perhaps centre your address information under the heading
• Line up the dates on the right-hand side
• Italize the bullet points under ‘Sales Intern’ to match the rest of the experience section
• I was not confident I knew what ‘Recorded prospect information in CRM data base; Salesforce’ pertained to, but this might be due to my lack of knowledge of your field

Cover letter

• Great cover letter. Made a very good case that you have the experience and knowledge necessary to do the internship
• First paragraph about high school experience does not seem pertinent to the job; consider removing
• Consider separating fourth paragraph into two; the second paracgraph can begin with “Last summer I worked as a Member Development Intern..”
• Consider editing the sentence : ”I am hopeful that my time management, creative thinking, communication skills would allow me to be a great addition to the team” to ”I am hopeful that my time management, creative thinking, communication skills WILL allow me to be a great addition to the team”
• Great job providing a deadline in the other letters; it would be a good idea to add them here as well!

 Reference Letter 1

• It would perhaps be good to highlight in what capacity you worked with Kate, and what skills you have demonstrated through your work with her
• Add contact information for individual you are sending reference letter to, and sign with your own contact information
• There is some awkward punctuation in the following sentence: “This opportunity is for a Business Development Representative Internship which will, not only, increase my exposure to the tech industry but also help me improve my sales skills.” Consider removing the commas after ‘will’ and ‘not only’ and add a comma after ‘industry’

 Reference Letter 2

• It is a good idea to remind the individual you are requesting a reference from about the skills you demonstrates while working with them, so that they can in turn use this when writing your reference letter
• Add contact information for individual you are sending reference letter to, and sign with your own contact information 

Reference Letter 3

• It is a good idea to remind the individual you are requesting a reference from about the skills you demonstrates while working with them, so that they can in turn use this when writing your reference letter
• Add contact information for individual you are sending reference letter to, and sign with your own contact information

 Concluding thoughts: Overall, your application package looks and reads professionally, and makes for a strong application to the internship. I hope my recommendations will be useful to you as you edit and resubmit your application package. Do not hesitate to contact me over the blog or at my email (aminamoustaqim377@gmail.com) if you have any questions or need clarification.

Amina Moustaqim-Barrette