To: Elton Kok
From: Richard Chen
Date: October 4th, 2020
Subject: ‘Quantitative Polymerase Chain Reaction’ Definition Review
Hi Elton,
Thank you for delivering your definitions promptly, this allowed me to spend more time reviewing your writing for which I am very impressed. I do have some suggestions (mostly minor) outlined below, please go through them and let me know what you think.
Opening Comments
As I read your introduction, I was motivated to continue reading more when I realized the term you had chosen was regarding the natural sciences to which I know you have extensive experience in.
That said, although I am familiar with your background, other readers may not, and so the inclusion of the reasoning for choosing a natural science term compared to computing science in your introduction may raise questions. This is because some readers may not know that you have just started the Bachelors of Computer Science program, and there was no further elaboration in that direction. For that reason, I would suggest either omitting this in the future or adding a clarifying sentence regarding your new educational pursuit.
Overall, I found your definitions and chosen situation to be very relevant to current world issues, and your ability to express scientific terms in plain speech allowed me to relate to those issues.
Purpose of Definitions
I appreciated that you structured your definitions to have just enough detail that is appropriate for each definition type as I moved through each one. I left each definition learning a little bit more about qPCR.
However, I believe there was one missed opportunity to give context to the purpose of your definitions, and that was regarding the problem with viral detection that qPCR solves, which relates back to your chosen situation. Specifically, that the problem with viral detection is that viruses are very small, and to positively detect them a process like qPCR is needed to amplify the amount of the virus. While I believe this could be implicitly inferred through the context of what qPCR does, a common layperson may not know the issue that qPCR addresses, and it is not explicitly stated.
Asides from that, your definitions were detailed, and I think your choice of expansion techniques which I identified as: history, operating principle, required conditions, and visual were appropriate for the term. The visual you chose did a fantastic job of summarizing your words and spoke for itself.
Word Choice & Technical Details
I like that you made sure to identify any acronyms used in its fully expanded form before preceding to use it on its own, even fully expanding it again a few uses later to remind the non-technical reader.
I did note that a few modifications in word choice and opportunities for expansion that would be beneficial to the reader’s understanding. In your parenthetical definition you mention ‘a test method that creates copies of the viral genes to detect it’. On first read, it was not clear to me what ‘it’ was referring to and whether the act of copying viral genes meant the virus was detected. I would suggest to revising it to clarify the relationship between copying and detection of viruses.
My last suggestion is regarding citation of sources. After reading your definitions, I am interested in learning more about analytical techniques researchers use to combat viruses. Going forward, you should consider adding in-text citations so readers know how each citation relates to insights you have made.
Overall Impressions
Your definitions gave me a lot of insight into how scientists approach virus detection using methods like Quantitative Polymerase Chain Reaction. I believe you met most of the objectives you set out to meet in your introduction, and with a few adjustments your definitions will be exceptional.
I look forward to reading your final draft.
Thank you,
Richard
Peer draft under review: Quantitative Polymerase Chain Reaction – Elton Kok
Leave a Reply