To: Syed Ahmed
From: Aleem Tariq
Date: October 5th, 2020
Subject: ‘Evolutionary Fitness’ definition review
Hi Syed,
I enjoyed reading your definition; I find evolution fascinating, and reading your work piqued that fascination. I have some suggestions – mostly minor – that are outlined below. Please go through them and let me know what you think.
Initial Comments
I think your work is generally very clear, and understandable, but only for someone familiar with the term. I think there are a few necessary edits to improve the readability for those unfamiliar with the field (evolutionary biology), largely concerning your use of expansion techniques.
Purpose of Definitions
Concerning the situation, there is a need to invoke the usage of the compare/contrast with the term physical fitness. I will expand on this later, but it may be best in this case to mention a situation that solely focuses on evolutionary fitness. Mentioning a scenario where being able to quantify an organism’s evolutionary fitness is ideal.
For the parenthetical definition, I think that mentioning a use case scenario is ideal. Involving the use of numbers and what can be concluded from that to very clearly elucidate that the concept of evolutionary fitness is being used. For instance, some variant of a deciduous tree has an evolutionary fitness of 1.26, as compared to its competitor in that environment which has a fitness of 1. What can scientists conclude based on these numbers? I’m specifically arguing for the usage of numbers in your definition, as you mention that the term is a quantitative measure of natural and sexual selection.
Your expanded definition is excellent and explains a very complex idea to a reader in an enlightening manner. I found your use of expansion both thorough and wisely chosen, in terms of word origin, history, operating principle and compare/contrast. However, expanding on the operating principle would make your writing even clearer to someone not familiar with the concepts in the field. For instance, mentioning that evolutionary fitness is an effect of natural selection, and making the connection between both concepts in terms of a quantitative measure. Also, this connection could be expanded on with the use of a visual, as the visual you are currently using does not relate to the term you are defining. If you could come up with a way to show how natural selection and evolutionary fitness (in terms of quantitative measure) come together to drive the changes we see in a population, that would be an excellent addition.
Word Choice and Technical Details
Firstly, I think that invoking the use of ‘gene’ in the four postulates of your expanded definition may be confusing to a non-familiar audience. Therefore, defining gene and its relevance could be helpful. Secondly, for the second postulate, it may be helpful to mention how this favourable chance of surviving and reproduction changes the population. Thirdly, for the fifth postulate, why does this happen? How does natural selection and evolutionary fitness result in this phenomenon that we observe? Making the connection from the first four postulates to the fifth may be difficult to make for someone not familiar with the field.
Overall Impressions
I enjoyed reading your definition, and you did an excellent job of guiding the reader through a very complex term. The term you chose is a difficult one to define, as it is entangled to other concepts. I believe you met most of the goals outlined in your introduction, and with only some small revisions, your definition would be illuminating to someone not familiar with the field.
I look forward to reading your final draft.
Kindest Regards,
Aleem
Peer draft reviewed: 301-Syed-Ahmed-Definitions
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