MEMORANDUM
To: Enguang Shi
From: Shuge Luo
Date: October 5th, 2020
Subject: Peer Review of Nostalgia
I have finished reviewing your definition of Nostalgia and I have a strong grasp of the history of the term and how it differs from homesickness. With appropriate techniques like subheadings and comparison, the definition of Nostalgia has been illustrated from both scientific and personal perspectives. It was easy to follow along with the logic of the narrative with a well-organized layout. I would like to offer the following suggestions:
Purpose: Your purpose displayed in the introduction was clear and concise. With the target audience identified as who lacking strong awareness of the nostalgia they have been experienced in their life, your definition could provide additional explanation to assist their understanding of themselves and the term from psychology scope. However, it may fulfill your purpose by referring to different social groups when expanding the comparison of homesickness and nostalgia.
Content Allocation: Considering the purpose of this definition is to provide a clear understanding to students, the first two parts could be condensed into a shorter section offering essential background knowledge, leaving spaces for the examination on the difference between nostalgia and homesickness. Visualizing the definition and the development of Nostalgia individually could be aligned with a more concise explanation based on the relative position of “Autobiographical memories” and “You today” which stand out from the picture. Highlighting the keywords given in the picture from your definition further clarifies the “reminiscence” in the context of personal relationship maintenance.
Subheadings: most subheadings have given a clearness of what you are going to deliver to readers. However, as for Negation, I think the subheading might be a little misleading from your content. What you are focusing on is the comparison and contrast of the two similar terms which people muddle up in the real-life context. Comparison could a better choice for assigning this subheading.
Impressions:
Upon my first read through your definition, I feel the definition you offered is quite clear and organized and I am sure I can understand without strong professional background knowledge. However, when I reached the last part attached to the picture illustration, it becomes a little bit confusing even though I aware that I have stepped into the psychology explanation. If there is a paragraph bridge in the last two parts, it would be easier for readers to follow up on the definition. I think your definition was appropriate with limited use of jargon which is extremely helpful.
I hope this helps your decision on the final definition.
Kind regards,
Shuge
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