Definition Assignment 1.3 – Peer Review
Reviewer: Anusha Saleem, classmate
Author: Amol Chahal, classmate
I have reviewed your Definition Assignment 1.3 for our ENGL 301 course. It brought me great awareness to read your definition of the term “Hypertension” and going through your Parenthetical, Sentence and Expanded definition highlighted all the informative details about this condition.
You did a great job of condensing the main points from various references to a quick read, and I would like to offer the following comments and suggestions:
1) Organizational: Your knowledge of the subject matter is immaculate as I understood the term “Hypertension” very well. However, I noticed that you wrote all of your text in bullet points.
I believe that since your text is so descriptive, it would be beneficial for you to organize your definitions in paragraphs. Using paragraphs will allow you to have greater control over your writing as you will be able to start with the central proposition and supplement that with a further 2-3 sentences, allowing for an easier read.
2) Visual: The caption of your image succinctly summarized the visual recreation of high blood pressure, and it was positioned on the document neatly too.
Nevertheless, as a reader, an image is a focal point that draws my eye, so I hope you consider choosing an image that complements the technical term in the discussion. Although a hand-drawn picture is unique, something with colour or an image from a scientific journal would capture your reader’s attention quickly, lending overall support to your definition. As the saying goes, a picture is worth a thousand words!
3) Citations: Unfortunately, after submitting my assignment, I admit I am guilty of this as well. According to Google, “A citation is a reference to the source of information used in your research. Any time you directly quote, paraphrase or summarize the essential elements of someone else’s idea in your work, an in-text citation should follow.”
In your document, the citations are listed but are not adhering to the citation rules. I suggest that you search online and gather writing samples where the authors have used citations. You can then use that as a template on how to cite text from sources.
In conclusion, your definition was well-formed, and it demonstrated the meaning of “Hypertension” with great clarity. I hope that my comments and suggestions prove to be constructive to you and helpful for your assignment and overall technical writing. Please let me know if you have any questions. I would be more than happy to converse with you.
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