To: Amina Moustaqim-Barrette, Team Member (Fourth Pair of Eyes)
From: Evan Ruiz, Peer Reviewer (Fourth Pair of Eyes)
Date: October 21, 2020
Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report Proposal
Hello Amina! I reviewed your Formal Report Proposal and I’m very impressed by your work. The thought that you put into this assignment, clearly, shows through. Please find an in-depth outline of my thoughts/ suggestions attached below.
Initial Impressions:
The COVID-19 virus has, undoubtedly, transformed the world; as it has the potential to negatively impact everyone. Information and data surrounding this topic grabs my attention immediately.
Your proposal is well written, clear, and concise. With that being said, however, I do have some minor suggestions.
Organization:
Your proposal has a natural “flow” to it. More specifically, it was easy to follow from the introduction of the problem, to the proposed solution. The way you numbered the “scope” of your inquiry was beneficial to my understanding of your tactics and your qualifications were clear and concise. I have no suggestions to improve the organization of your proposal. Wonderful job!
Scope and Methodology:
The data that you’re attempting to collect through your methodology is interesting. I’m excited to see your findings! I have no suggestions, in this regard.
Grammar:
Holistically, I think that you did a great job; ensuring that the correct and proper punctuation was used throughout your entire proposal. Moreover, you kept your proposal in the same tense, and wrote with a “tone” that continued to capture my attention.
Within certain sections of your proposal, you spoke in great detail. As a result, I found that some sentences were a bit “wordy.” While this was a minor issue, it may have led you to write a couple of run-on sentences and or sentences that could be more concise.
Suggested Changes:
Original: “During COVID-19, work-from-home policies have also been some of the most effective interventions to stop the spread of COVID-19 disease”
Change to: “Work-from-home policies have also been some of the most effective interventions to stop the spread of COVID-19 disease”. Covid-19 is implied later in your sentence. Thus, it doesn’t need to be included in the beginning
Original: “Given that many of these employees are still not properly..”
Change to: “Due to this policy, many employees are still not properly set up to work from home..”
Original: “…related to return-to-work policy and creating summary statistics from their responses to inform policy
Change to: “…related to return-to-work policies; collecting data, from their responses, to inform policy”.
Final Impressions:
I would like to reiterate the fact that you have done a wonderful job on writing this proposal. The structure of your proposal is well thought out, your introduction effectively builds up to the statement of the problem and, lastly, you provide an effective scope of methods to test your solution. I would encourage you, however, to do one more run-through, checking for punctuation issues and run-on sentences. More specifically, I would suggest that you focus on how you might be able to consolidate some of your more “wordy” sentences.
I hope that you’ve found these, minor, suggestions to be beneficial. Please feel free to reach out with any questions, comments or concerns with my feedback. I’d be happy to help!
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