To: Phoebe Wu, ENGL 300 99A Student
From: Barton Lui, ENGL 300 99A Student
Date: October 21st, 2020
Subject: Peer review of report proposal, “Increasing Student Registrations at Pott’s Education Studio through Social Media”
Hi Phoebe,
I have reviewed your report proposal about Pott’s Education Studio and I think it is a very interesting topic about the tutoring industry. It seems like you have spent a great amount of time being part of that organization and you have a good understanding about the problem regarding the decline of the student enrollment rate.
Overall the organization of the proposal is neat and clear with subtitles. As a reader, I have no problem following and understanding the purpose of your report proposal. However, it wasn’t very clear who your existing customers are as you didn’t specify clearly other than they are domestic and international students. I assume the company is mainly targeting all primary and secondary school students based on the availability of the subject areas.
Your statement of problem stated that the decline of term registrations is a result of the pandemic but then suggested that it was due to the increase in competition from other tutoring centres and that the problem has existed over the year. I thought the main reason for the decline in enrollment rate was due to increased competition. There is no question about how the pandemic can affect the enrollment rate of international students but I do not think this was the main issue you initially tried to address. You also claimed that “Many international students went back to China”. The statement is not true because not all international students are Chinese but since a lot of international students are Chinese and due to the pandemic, lots of international students, who are Chinese, left and there are fewer international students attending Pott’s Education Studio’s tutoring session.
With that being said, I love your proposed solution as it covers how social media could work in your favour to attract new students. Building an effective communication channel between students and tutors is also a good way to build relationships with the existing students and expand to other demographics. To make it better, you can briefly explain how a business account is beneficial for your marketing campaign.
The scope regarding specifics of the social media strategies shows that you see the big picture in the studio but you can be more clearer about the “kind” of students you wish to attract. Are you referring to the student’s ethnicity, age or school topic weakness? I suggest that you clearly define your target as each different group requires a different marketing approach.
In the conclusion, you should also mention the statement again and then summarize your proposed solution but not introduce new points you have not mentioned in the proposal such as attracting parents.
Thank you and wonderful job writing this proposal, you have a great solution and I think it could work.
Best,
Barton
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