Peer Review of Formal Report Proposal

TO: Shujun Peng
FROM: Annie Maurer
DATE: October 21, 2020
SUBJECT: Review of Your Wheelchair Attachable Shopping Cart Proposal

Thank you for the great work on your proposal to increase the use of wheelchair attachable shopping carts at DaRunFa grocery store in Shanghai. Please find feedback on the proposal in the sections below.

Initial Impressions: Overall, the information contained within the proposal is great and, if implemented, would improve the lives of those with disabilities.

Organization: The proposal was organized well into different sections.

Content:
The proposal incorporates all components of the assignment requirements including:

• An introduction
• Statement of problem. The meaning in this section is slightly unclear. Given that there are fewer people with disabilities than able-bodied people, it makes sense that the distribution of types of shopping carts is not evenly distributed. Is the problem that there are not enough shopping carts suitable for people with disabilities? If so, this should be highlighted in the statement of problem.
• A detailed scope. The scope includes five important and practical areas of inquiry. Well done.
• Research methods. Another possible research method to include is research into manufacturing and availability of wheelchair-friendly shopping carts.
• Qualifications
• Conclusion

Grammar:
There are a few grammar issues primarily to do with the improper use of commas. For example, the final sentence in the conclusion is a run-on sentence and could be resolved by being broken up into multiple sentences. As well, in a formal report, avoid the use of contractions. For instance, “there’s” should be “there is”.

Concluding Comments:

• The proposal is relevant and has a clear direction
• The proposal is impactful
• The statement of problem could be re-worded to make the problem more obvious.
• One area for improvement is in the use of commas and not creating run-on sentences. When attempting to convey a significant amount of information, consider using multiple, shorter sentences.

The proposal was a pleasure to read. Hopefully this feedback has been helpful.

Shujun Peng’s Formal Report Proposal