Peer Review Annie Maurer’s Final Report Draft

To: Annie Maurer, ENGL 301 99A Student

From : Shujun Peng, ENGL 301 99A Student

Date: December 10, 2020

Subject: Peer review of “Proposal for the Implementation of a Pedestrian Light at the Intersection of Chesterfield and 17th in North Vancouver”

Dear Annie,

Thank you for submitting your Formal Report draft for review. It was an enjoyable read. Please see my suggestions below for improvement.

First Impression:

This formal report on implementing pedestrian light at the intersection of Chesterfield and 17th in North Vancouver is very informative. This report has a standardized “Table of Contents”,  the introduction clearly identifies the problem at hand and proposed a solution that addresses the problem. The report also includes various charts and graphs, does a nice job of organizing these charts.

Content：

The introduction is informative and clearly written. However, it looks too much like the proposal that has been submitted before, further revision is needed.

Missing a literacy Review section before the Body section

Organization :

The draft is well organized, well done!

Style :

The style of writing is professional and concise

Avoiding the use of repetitive sentences would strengthen your final report

Grammar and expression

* Missing an article/determiner in sentences like “ a formal report is to …” (introduction)

Few mistakes in the conclusion section :

“Figures two and three show that having a quick route and a safe route to the destination are important to survey takers.”—— replace “are” with “ is”

“All users, independent on mode of transportation, conveyed dissatisfaction.” —-Replace preposition “on” to “of”; add a determiner before “mode”

Concluding comments:

Here’s a summary of suggestions

1. Revise the introduction part and make it look less like the proposal
2. Add literature review
3. Avoiding repetitive sentence/phrase
4. Adding an article or determiner in places that are needed
5. Correct some minor grammar mistakes in the conclusion section

Thank you for submitting the draft and I am looking forward to reading the final report. If you have any questions, please email me at shujunpengschool@gmail.com