To: Kelly Kim, Member of Team “Jake’s Friends”
From: Leo Kim, Member of Team “Jake’s Friends”
Date: 5th February, 2022
Subject: Peer Review of “Three Definitions: Power Distance”
Thank you for explaining the definition of “Power Distance”. This is interesting writing. Please see my reviews below for your next writing.
Initial Impression:
This writing seems easy to read and understand. The overall document is very well-organised, including all requirements and form of citations.
Organisation:
- The overall writing is very well-organised with proper position of contents and clear explanations.
- Every title is well bolded for getting attraction from readers.
- The instruction is clear and contains reasonable descriptions.
Expression:
- The situation is well formed, but it seems more close to how you’re introducing this term in this paper. I would suggest that giving a real situation when this term is used could be more interesting for readers.
- The parenthetical definition sounds limited to me, it seems like you want to focus on the only case of parenting. I would say it includes a more general definition.
- The composition of the expanded definition is well-organised. But I would suggest splitting with more subtitles as this assignment requires. For example, you made a visual section but did not make a subtitle “visuals” in the expanded definition.
Content:
This document is complete according to the assignment requirements; it includes
- A detail introduction
- Three forms of definition
- Four types of expansion
- A visual
- A works cited list
- It has all contents the assignment requires, but a suggestion I would have is making more subtitles in the expanded definition. I assume you want to give an example at the end of the expanded definition part, but It would be better if it had subtitles.
Visuals:
- The visual in the document is well-formed, but I would say that is good if there is one more visual for easy understanding.
Works Cited List:
- It is a well-formed MLA style citation list. But you should follow an alphabetical order when you list your references.
Concluding Comments:
This definition is really interesting to read and recall my memory from the Business course I took. Revising with following options, this document will be wonderful:
- Suggesting a real situation for the reader.
- Revisiting the Parenthetical Definition as a more general definition.
- Adding subtitles for the Expanded Definition.
- Making a conclusion will be helpful.
- Checking Works Cited list again.
Thank you for reading my review. Feel free to ask any questions!
Cheers.
Leo Kim
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