To: Jen Worsham
From: Varneega Theva, ENGL 301 99C Team Member
Date: February 5, 2022
Subject: Peer Review of the Three Definitions Assignment
Thank you for sharing your 1.3 assignment! You’ve done a stellar job at providing a description of the disease, and specifically how it develops from a minor condition such as gingivitis to this severe condition termed periodontitis.
I would approve the definitions after a few minor revisions as suggested below.
Organization:
- Easy to follow along
- There is a good flow to the structure of the article
Content:
- The purpose of the assignment is missing from the introduction
- Inflammatory is not a commonly used word, consider prefacing the term with an explanation since this term is frequently used throughout the definition
- The 4 expansion strategies (operating principle, visual, compare and contrast, examples) are clearly visible
- The inclusion of examples of the symptoms such as bone loss and loose teeth is a great way to educate the patient of what this condition entails
Grammar/Spelling:
- The word “can” is missing before the phrase “cause a state of persistent…” in the sentence definition
- Consider switching the words “connections proven” to “proven connections” in the expanded definition
Visuals:
- The image included is a great way of introducing two expansion methods: the visual strategy and the compare and contrast strategy
- This helps distinguish between gingivitis and periodontitis, while illuminating the depth of the gum recession in each case
- The caption accompanying the picture doesn’t mention gum recession so it would be a good idea to edit the caption to something like “Comparison of gum recession in healthy tissue, gingivitis, and periodontitis” to point readers in the direction of what exactly they should be examining
Work Cited List:
- Good formatting of citations
- Visual was also cited correctly according to guidelines
All in all, other than a few minor suggestions as stated, these definitions are clear, concise and thorough. Please let me know if you’d like any clarifications on the notes posted above. Cheers!
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