Peer Review of “Meiosis”

To: Kashish Garg

From: Dylan Flach

Peer Review / Term: Meiosis 

Thank you for submitting the ‘Three Definitions’ assignment for Lesson 1.3. The document was informative and interesting to read. Please see the review below for comments and suggestions for improvement.

First Impressions:

The document is well-organized and concise, providing in-depth definitions of the term that comply with the assignment requirements.

Organization:

• The bolded subtitles and well-spaced paragraphs allow the reader to easily follow the document.
• The document is organized correctly as per the assignment’s instructions, containing an introduction, three types of definitions, and a well-chosen visual.
• The document does not clearly indicate which four expansion strategies were used for the expanded definition.
• The document ends rather abruptly with the completion of the expanded definition; a conclusion sentence would have been beneficial to succintly summarize the document.

Introduction:

• The introduction paragraph does a good job of summarizing the requirements for the assignment, with the use of a professional and friendly tone.
• The reading situation is realistic and has potential for importance.
• The use of ‘we’ and ‘our’ does not seem appropriate to this individual assignment, rather the document could have used singular pronouns.

Definitions:

• The parenthetical definition is correct in it’s format. However, it seems that it would not be appropriate for the aforementioned reading situation, as it does not define terms such as “sex cells” and “cell division” that may not be common knowledge for a patient.
• The sentence definition is informative and accurately defines the term and the class it falls within. However, the format should be one sentence instead of two. Additionally, this definition does not define terms such as “chromosomes”, “chromosome duplication”, “sex cells” and “cell division” that make the definition difficult to understand for the designated reader.
• The expanded definition is very informative and includes the required four expansion strategies, though they could have used their own headings. Again, some terms in the definition could have used their own definitions to enhance the reader’s understanding. The comparison to mitosis is very interesting and beneficial for an advanced reader, though it may be a lot of information for a non-technical reader to take in.

Visuals:

• The visual is easy to follow, with bright colours and proper labeling.
• The citation is properly formatted for APA figures.
• The visual appropriately succeeds an ‘analysis of parts’ of the term. However, the visual itself does not have it’s own description that would enhance the reader’s understanding of the figure.
• The visual contains terms that may be confusing for the reading situtation.

Grammar/Typos:

• The document is well-written with few typos and proper professional grammar for this context.
• The etymology in the expanded definition has a misplaced period: “to lessen.” should read “to lessen”.
• In the expanded definition, there is a missing hyphen in “non sex cells” so it should read “non-sex cells”.
• It may have been preferred to use the written forms of numbers instead of their numerical form, i.e. “four” instead of “4”, to make the document more formal.

Works Cited:

• The works cited is properly formatted in APA style, with the references alphabetically ordered and equally spaced.

Conclusion: 

The document is very informative and concise, with appropriately formatted definitions and references. The document would be exceptional and have great use with the following modifications:

• Adding more headings would increase the ease of understanding.
• Ensuring the use of proper pronouns.
• The addition of a conclusion paragraph to summarize the document and make for a smooth ending.
• Refinement of the definitions to ensure that they are appropriate for the aforementioned reading situation.
• Proofreading for minor grammatical errors.

It has been a pleasure reviewing this document. Please feel feel to inquire with any questions. Thank you.