Review of Formal Report Proposal for Paper Reduction System

To: Kenny Colosie, UBC Student

From: MinZhang Si, Fellow UBC Student

Date: February 18, 2022

Subject: Review of Formal Report Proposal for Paper Reduction System

I have enjoyed reading your proposal for a paper reduction system at West Coast Property Management. Please see the review of the document below with suggestions for improvements.

First Impressions:

This proposal follows all the instructions and the sample proposal outlined on pages 538-539 of our textbook. It is well organized and includes all components of the assignment.

Introduction:

• A good introduction to paper waste and the need for businesses to address this industrial and environmental problem.

Statement of Problem:

• Consider describing paper wastage specific to West Coast Property Management. How is it a problem in the organization?

Proposed Solution:

• A clear solution to convince readers reducing paper waste is possible.

Scope:

• Five areas of inquiry with relevant questions to assess feasibility of paper waste reduction

Methods:

• Methods (a survey, interviews, and additional research) are detailed.

Qualifications:

• Relevant experiences and credentials mentioned to show competency for the task.

Conclusion:

• Ending with recap of the problem and call for action is well done.

Writing Mechanics:

• There are several small errors. For example, there is a missing “in” between “me” and “sending” here: “I would appreciate if you would facilitate me sending the survey to all of your employees, regardless or role in the company.”
• The word “areas” should be in place of “arrears” here: “By addressing the five arrears of inquiry mentioned earlier in this proposal.”

Brevity:

• Some sentences can be trimmed: “By changing processes and pursuing technological advancements now, while your company is relatively small, it will allow you to create streamlined efficiencies and save time and resources as you expand into a larger firm.” Consider: “Pursuing technological advancements now will save your company time and resources as it grows bigger.”

Tone and Pronouns:

• Consider the relevance of each pronoun and the “you” attitude in the document. It seems you are an employee of the company. Would the second-person point of view lay blame on the recipient of your proposal? How would “we” work?
• Refer to this sentence and see if the “you” is necessary: “It may seem like you are a small part of the problem due to the size of your company, however, many small companies make up the largest part of the paper wastage problem due to inefficiencies in their processes.”

Concluding Comments

The proposal is solid. Each component fulfills the purpose, and each paragraph is meaningful. With the following edits, the document will be even stronger:

• Including a statement of problem tailored to your organization
• Self-editing for typos
• Writing for brevity
• Reducing the number of pronouns

Thank you for the proposal and please feel free to ask any questions. All the best with your assignments.

Link to Kenny Colosie’s Formal Report Proposal:

Formal Report Proposal – West Coast Property Management – Paper Wastage Issue