Peer Review of Formal Report Proposal

To: Kashish Garg

From: Dylan Flach

Peer Review / Formal Report Proposal 

Thank you for submitting the ‘Formal Report Proposal’ assignment for Lesson 2.1. The document was informative and interesting to read. Please see the review below for comments and suggestions for improvement.

First Impressions:

The document is well-organized and concise, providing a significant issue that would benefit from amendement as per the solution suggests.

Organization:

• The bolded subtitles and well-spaced paragraphs allow the reader to easily follow the document.
• The document is organized correctly as per the assignment’s instructions, containing an introduction, audience description, statement of problem, proposed solution, scope, methods, qualifications, and conclusion.
• The subject could have been bolded to express the importance of the topic of the report proposal.

Introduction:

• The introduction paragraph concisely summarizes the positive aspects of the traditional grading system. However, since this assignment aims to propose a change in such system, it would have been more sensical to have included some negative aspects of the system as well.
• The introduction could have benefitted from an expansion on the term traditional grading system to ensure the reader is knowledgeable about this particular system.

Statement of Problem and Proposed Solution:

• The problem states many valid and well-thought out points regarding the pitfalls of the traditional grading system.
• The problem statement may have benefitted from the use of “in my opinion” or another term to ensure the reader is aware of the source of this information.
• The proposed solution is comprehensive and applicable to the aforementioned problem.
• The author has done a great job in detailing the particular process that this ungraded system involves, allowing the reader to fully understand how the new system would appear in the biology lab setting.

Scope and Methods:

• The five areas of inquiry in the document are thought-provoking and pertinent to the aforementioned problem and solution pattern.
• The scope is well-suited to the individual that will serve as the primary data source, as they are keenly aware of the workings of an ungraded system.
• The fact that the primary data source is one particular individual may have its drawbacks, as this professor’s bias may affect the results of the formal report. The method would benefit from including other faculty and students as primary data sources, especially to answer the first area of inquiry (i.e. whether students had a positive experience in the proposed approach).
• The secondary sources seem highly useful to the report’s topic.

Qualifications and Conclusion:

• The author succintly describes his realm of qualifications in relation to the study, which appear to make the individual highly qualified for such a proposal.
• The conclusion adequately summarizes the proposal. However, it could be reworded for smoother articulation.
• The document ends strongly with a statement about receiving approval, which is of utmost important for the purpose of this report proposal.

Grammar/Typos:

• The document is well-written and is free from any significant grammar errors or typos.
• The document would have benefitted from some less concrete terms due to it’s opinion-based nature. For example, the problem states: “grades cause students to focus…” which could instead be written as “grades may cause students to focus…” since the author cannot speak for all students.
• The first sentence of the conclusion is a bit wordy and difficult to understand. Stating that biology lab courses  “therefore are able to prevent the aforementioned drawbacks of grade-based courses” is not exactly accurate. The sentence would make more sense written as follows: “Due to the inessentiality of grades in biology lab courses, these courses would benefit from a transition to the ungraded approach; this would allow biology labs to avoid the aforementioned drawbacks of a graded approach”.

Conclusion: 

The document is very informative and concise, with a considerate solution to an explicitly stated problem. The document would be exceptional and have great use with the following modifications:

• Bolding the subject to have this important title better stand out.
• Ensuring the introduction properly introduces the topic at hand.
• A more clear definition of terms such as traditional grading system.
• Ensuring the reader is aware of the opinion-based nature of this proposal.
• Reconsideration of the primary data source and its potential limitations.
• Proofreading to ensure the document reads smoothly.

It has been a pleasure reviewing this document. Please feel feel to inquire with any questions. Thank you.