Peer Review – Formal Report Proposal – Small-wheeled Vehicle Lanes on Main Road of UBC

Thank you for completing your formal report proposal. The proposal was enjoyable to read, well written, and informative. Please see below for suggestions and comments regarding the proposal.

 

Introduction:

• The main idea of utilizing skateboards as methods of transportation across the UBC campus is effectively communicated.
• A background is provided on various types of skateboards, and the road conditions that individuals are facing while using one
• An introduction into the main issue, which is the poor road conditions, is mentioned
• The introduction is well written and states the issues at hand

 

Statement of the Problem:

• The issue at hand is presented clearly to the reader
• The writing is simple, however it feels a bit wordy in some sentences. For example, the last sentence could be rewritten as, “As skaters share the road with motor vehicles, they need to be mindful of their surroundings to ensure their safety.” 

 

Proposed Solution:

• The proposed solution is clearly defined, and is straight to the point
• It would be great to include some benefits to this solution, by addressing some of the issues (such as the safety for individuals) that were mentioned prior.

 

Scope:

• The five inquires listed are thoughtful, well defined, and will build towards a great discussion
• The scope includes the opinions of skaters and non-skaters, which is important to hear the opinions from both parties involved. 

 

Methods:

• The methods appear to be well thought out, and includes all demographics at UBC
• The secondary source of data is not clearly stated. Are primary research papers the secondary sources? 

 

My Qualifications:

• The author’s academic background has provided relevant experience conducting research using a well designed study
• The author draws from their own first hand experiences as a skater to tackle issues present on the UBC campus

 

Conclusion:

• The conclusion clearly summarizes the entire proposal, and the writing is concise

 

Overall Organization:

• The use of bolded headings to differentiate between each part of the proposal is effective. 
• The document addressed the problems skaters and non-skaters are facing, while also providing a potential solution for all parties involved
• The proposal contains all the requirements for a formal report proposal with no significant details missing

 

Spelling, Grammar, and Brevity:

• The spelling is not a concern, and I see no issues with this facet of the proposal
• There are a few minor grammatical errors present throughout the document. For example, in the introduction, you said “In UBC…”. It is hard to understand what is meant by “In”. Perhaps changing it to “The UBC campus is over 400 hectares in size, therefore making it difficult for students to travel across campus quickly, especially with only 10 minutes inbetween classes.”
• The writing is easy to read and follow, however there are a few sentences that feel drawn out. Improving the brevity of a few sentences will help communicate the issues more effectively.

 

Summary:

The proposal is well written and each component is clearly outlined and addressed. There was minimal use of pronouns, and the tone of the proposal is professional. Below are a few suggestions for consideration to help strengthen the proposal.

• Addressing potential benefits for all parties in the proposed solution section
• Include a clear statement for secondary sources of data
• Revising the document to eliminate any typos and grammatical errors
• Editing a few sentences to improve the brevity of the proposal

 

This proposal was enjoyable to read, and is certainly an issue where the solution would be beneficial for all parties involved. I look forward to reading your revised proposal, and if you have any questions or concerns regarding this review, please do not hesitate to ask. 

 

Proposal Under Review: Formal Report Proposal – Small-wheeled Vehicle Lanes on Main Road of UBC