To: Lucy Li
From Carol Li
Peer Review: Proposal – Placing a Clothing’s Bin at the UBC Bus Loop
The proposal, “Placing a Clothing’s Bin at the UBC Bus Loop” is well written, concise, organized, and informative. Please see suggestions below:
First Impression
This proposal follows all the instructions and sample proposals outlined on pages 538-539 of the textbook. It is well organized and includes all components of the assignment. The topic is interesting and close to life.
Audience Description
The proposal aims at accurate readers. As a UBC student group, UBC AMS seeks better learning and living conditions for students.
Introduction
The proposal to place clothes recycling bins at UBC Bus Loop is clear and informative.
Using the number of students attending UBC highlights the proposal’s influence.
Statement of Problem
The explanation of the problem is concise. However, it will be clearer if it can be explained separately or in bullet points.
For example, first, some students in UBC do not know about clothing recycling; Second, even if they know it, they may give up recycling clothes due to the inconvenience of commuting.
Proposed Solution
The proposed solution is very clear and straightforward. By placing the clothes recycling box in the bus loop, the problem of inconvenient clothes recycling for students can be effectively solved.
However, the problem that some students do not know that clothes can be recycled has not been effectively solved. It is suggested to carry out various propaganda work to increase the public’s awareness.
Scope
The five inquires listed are thoughtful and well defined. The scope covers the needs of students and how AMS will deal with the recycled clothes and the cost and safety considerations.
Some questions about the environmental effects of placing recycling bins would be better since the environmental effect is mentioned in the introduction section.
Methods
The investigation methods are comprehensive and explain how to investigate the topic thoroughly.
My Qualifications
The academic background listed in the qualifications section shows relevant experience conducting research using a well-designed study. Moreover, the rich life experience and thinking on this issue ensure the research quality.
Conclusion
The conclusion summarizes the entire proposal, and the writing is concise
Overall Organization
The structure of the article is clear and bold characters are used properly, which is easy to read. Every section is organized logically.
Spelling, Grammar, and Brevity
Overall is great but some minor errors exist:
In the statement of problem section, combining these two sentences would be better: “Considering … donation bins, It discourages … donate clothes”. It should be “Considering the long commute time and the location of the nearest donation bins, it discourages the students from travelling to a specific location to donate clothes…”
In the conclusion section, an “is” is missing before “reasonable”, it should be “I can estimate whether installing a clothing donation bin at the UBC bus loop is reasonable. ”
Tone and Pronouns
In this proposal, pronouns are rarely used with the appropriate tone.
Summary
This proposal is easy to read and reasonable. Each part is meaningful. The proposal will be more impeccable through the following editing:
Making your problem statement part more logical
Adding a solution about increasing the public’s awareness
Consider adding a scope about the environmental effects
Self-editing sentence expression
I look forward to reading your revised proposal. If you have any questions or concerns about this review, please feel free to contact me.
Link to Lucy Li’s formal proposal report:
Formal Report Proposal – Placing a Clothing’s Bin at the UBC Bus Loop
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