Peer Review: Going Paperless for CPSC 121

To: Dhara, Technical Writing Team Member

From: Christine, Technical Writing Team Member

Date: Feb 18^th, 2022

Peer Review: Research Proposal/ Going Paperless for CPSC 121

 

Congratulation, and thank you for posting the 2.1.1 assignment. Please consider reading through the peer review document below with suggestions for improvement.

 

First impression:

This impressive proposal includes all the requirements with the correct format for this assignment. The problem is identified clearly with the well-thought solution proposed.

 

Organization:

• Excellent work on organizing the document to make it pleasant to read
  • An introduction with detailed background
  • Clearly identified the audience that will be part of this proposed research
  • The bolded heading is easy to read

 

Statement of problem:

• The statement of problem is a bit unclear
  • Are you trying to state that going paperless is difficult in this course due to the need for paper for scratching ideas and calculating some of the questions?
  • It will be easier to understand if the problem is stated in the first sentences of this section.

Proposed solution:

• The proposed solution is well written.
  • Giving an overview of how the solution works that could possibly solve the problem.

 

Scope and Methods:  

• The overall scope content the questions that the audience would have.
• The solution includes print paper as well as the online format exam that I would suggest considering the budget and the effort into the scope of the study.

 

Expression:

• The tone is friendly and descriptive
• Overall, the entire research proposal is well expressed and easy to understand. However, If the sentences are more concise and direct, that will help the reader get the points right away.
  • For example:
    • “To prevent students from only doing their work on paper and flagging every question, students would only receive partial marks for questions that are flagged.”
    • Rewrite Example: “To prevent students from only doing their work on paper and flagging every question, they would only receive partial marks for flagged questions.”
  • I would suggest working on the conciseness in your statement of  problem and proposed solution.

Grammar and Typos:

• There are some minor grammar errors; one example is:
• “Further concerns include the inability to highlight keywords, or circles and experiment on figures and diagrams relevant to the problem.”
  • Since you have plural mostly in the sentence, you may want to stay with plural for the whole sentence.
  • The comma before or can be removed
• Another example is:
• “I am a student of CPSC 121, and have been privy to the various discussions and challenges expressed from both the professors and the students about going paperless.”
  • Change preposition “from” to “by”

 

Concluding comments:

Thank you! It’s been a pleasure to review your research proposal that is well organized, well thought out, and informative. With the following suggestions, this will be an excellent proposal:

 

• Self-editing for clarity is needed:
  • Grammar
  • Concise your sentence and try to be as direct as possible
• Adding the budgets and the effort consideration for the research scope
• Focus on cutting down the word in the proposed solution
  • Instead of describing how the solution works, providing a schematic will be easy to understand

 

Thank you for your time reading through the peer review document. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me.

 

Cheers.

Research Proposal – Going Paperless for CPSC 121