To: Christine Hsiao, UBC Student
From: Dhara Bhatt, UBC Student
Peer Review: Proposal for an Inclusive Environment at the UBC International Navigator Club
Congratulations on completing the formal research proposal for ENG 301. This proposal is thought-provoking and well-written. It illuminates an important issue at UBC. Please see the peer review below with suggestions for improvements.
First Impressions:
This is a clear and easy-to-digest proposal. The subheadings and bullet points perform their job of breaking down the content. The visual diagram of individuals vs. the community is an especially nice touch. As a whole, the proposal articulates a convincing case for future research and investigation.
Statement of the Problem:
- The proposal issue is clear and to-the-point
- There are some areas where word choice and grammar could be tidied up.
- ie. “maintain a strong bond between the existing club members”
- “… needs to create a friendly environment where people won’t feel excluded.”
- “… some people and others that have just joined do feel left out…”
- “inclusiveness” issue might be a better word than “exclusiveness”
Space of Improvement:
- The areas of improvement are actionable and specific
- The writing is clear and straightforward
Proposed Plan:
- The proposed plan is clearly defined and makes excellent use of bullet points and indentation
- There are some areas where grammar could be brushed up:
- ie. “… people to only speak English during the club time, detailed as follows:”
- “organizing everyone’s personal information…”
- There may be some concerns about the ethics of punishing native language use (ie. the topic is sensitive and must be approached with care)
Limitations:
- the limitations are well-defined, thoughtful and nuanced
Benefits:
- The benefits are well-communicated and provide strong incentives for pursuing the issue at hand
Visual
- The diagram is a worthwhile addition that illuminates the nature of the situation
- An explanation or caption would clarify the full intent of the visual
Content:
- The proposal template is a planning proposal
- Lesson 2:1 emphasizes the use of a research proposal
- please refer to figure 22.2 in the text for an example of a research proposal
- A research proposal includes a scope, methods, qualifications, etc.
Concluding Comments:
- This research proposal expresses the issue of inclusiveness at the UBC International Navigator Club with thoughtfulness and nuance
- The needs, proposal solution, and benefits are clearly laid out, with actionable implementation
- There are some areas where grammar/tense can be reworked (ie. a few more edits to polish the work are necessary)
- The proposal should be modified to reflect a research proposal, rather than a planning proposal
Thank you for submitting this proposal and please feel free to contact me if there are any questions or hesitations about my remarks.
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