TO: Lucy Li
FROM: Han Li, Student Peer Reviewer
DATE: March 19, 2022
SUBJECT: Peer Review of Formal Report Proposal-Feasibility of Placing a Clothing Bin at the UBC Bus Loop
Thanks for submitting this formal report draft, analyzing the necessity of placing a clothing bin at the UBC Bus Loop. It is a well-organized document addressing a serious issue that is undoubtedly worthwhile investigating. Below are some suggestions for strengthening the formal report.
First Impressions:
This document leaves an excellent first impression. It is well-formed, with bolding subheadings increasing readability.
Title and Title Page:
The draft has a clear title page, including the report’s focus, intended readers, authors, and the distribution date.
Table of Contents:
The Table of Contents is organized and logically laid out. It will be perfect if the graphs and figures used in the article are also here.
Introduction:
- Background
- The clothing donation bin is introduced at the beginning of the report and provides preliminary information for the reader on the role of clothing donation bins and UBC.
- Statement of the Problem
- This part provides the reasons for placing a clothing donation bin at UBC.
- Purpose of this report
- The purpose of the report is apparent, placing clothing donation bins on campus is convenient for students and, at the same time, protects the environment.
- Brief description of data sources:
- This report uses both primary data and secondary sources, which is very reliable.
- Scope of the report
- This part illustrates the main questions the report needs to solve.
Data Section
Data section complete with appropriate subheadings improving readability
- Clothing donation bin or donation services at UBC
- This part tells the readers about the existing donation services at UBC and points out the shortcomings.
- A survey from UBC staff and students
- This part includes a detailed interpretation of the survey and some visuals facilitating readers’ understanding.
- Benefits of having a clothing donation bin
- This part uses the data from the secondary source to support the recommendation.
Conclusion:
- Summary of overall findings
- This part summarizes the previous core elements.
- Recommendations
- Using visuals showing the exact location of the donation bin is easy to understand.
Organization:
- This proposal includes all core requirements of a formal report. However, the title font on the title page is different from the rest of the article. It is consistent if the font is the same.
- Bolded subtitles and proper spacing make it easy to follow.
- Pages are not correctly paginated.
- For a long document, count the title page as page i without numbering.
- Including a running head
- Please refer to 13.3.1 Shaping the Page for detailed information.
- Revising MLA in-text citation. Under “Data Section-A, the first sentence (“Zero Waste Action Plan”), there should be no more double quotes in parentheses.
Expression:
- The professional tone is admirable, clear, concise, and well understood first read.
- Some wording is unnecessary “Clothing donation bins are the big containers that are found in public and private areas where individuals can donate their clothing.” Perhaps omitting “that are found”.
- Under “Data Section A- AMS Student Nest”, the first sentence, it seems that “habit” may not agree in number with “their”.
- The wording of the sentence is unclear: “A significant portion of the clothing collected is sorted and resold, which decreases the amount of textile waste going into landfills. “Perhaps revising to “A significant portion of the clothing collected is sorted and resold, decreasing the amount of textile waste going into landfills”.
- Avoiding the use of negative to make the sentence clear.
Questions:
- It mentions that over 50 000 students are attending UBC. Is it enough to have only one donation bin at Bus Loop?
- Will be placing the donations bins closer to the dormitories more convenient for UBC resident students, as the rest of the students can choose a donation point closer to home?
- What are the costs and safety measures of the donation bins?
- How to maintain the organization and collection of clothing from the bins?
Concluding Comments:
Thanks again for the effort. It is an enjoyable reading. Environmental protection starts from the small thing around us. With the suggestions below, it will be able to compose an excellent final report:
- Revising the paging
- Including a running head
- Considering the suggestions for expressions
- Correcting the in-text MLA citation
- Self-editing for small typos
- Investigating more for the questions
It is a pleasure to review this proposal. If there are any questions, please feel free to ask.
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