Peer Review of Duffy Du’s Formal Report Draft

To: Duffy Du, ENGL 301 Student

From: Jackson Kuan, ENGL 301 Student

Date: March 19, 2022

Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report Draft

Thank you for completing the draft of your formal report, analyzing the potential implementation of small-wheeled vehicle lanes on the main roads of the UBC-Vancouver campus. The report was enjoyable to read, informative, and well written. Listed below are a few suggestions that aim to strengthen the final version of the report. 

 

First Impressions:

• The main strength of this report is that approaches the problem at hand from all aspects, including construction feasbility, accessibility, and a cost analysis. Additionally, the data collected comes from all parties involved (both skaters and non-skaters), and not just from the skating community. Moreover, the visuals were appealing and effective in communicating the message.
• One area of improvement would be to highlight the health benefits regarding the use of small-wheeling vehicles. Additionally, revising for brevity will ensure that the report is clear and prevent any mis-interpretations in the findings.

 

Content:

Introduction

• Definition of Small-Wheeled Vehicles

• • “Small-wheeled vehicles” are immediately defined to provide context for the reader

• Background Information

• • Background information on skating and the use of “small-wheeled vehicles” is informative and supported the argument throughout the report
  • Since there is a section devoted to explaining what small-wheeled vehicles are, it may not be necessary to list examples of small-wheeled vehicles in this section
  • Highlights the benefits of using small-wheeled vehicles over bikes
  • Perhaps include a few sentences on the health benefits (physical exercise) to help strengthen the argument for using small-wheeled vehicles

• Statement of the Problem

• • Statement of the problem is properly addressed and provides reasons why these are areas that require improvement and development

• Purpose of this Report and the Proposal Solution

• • Purpose of the report and proposed solution is well written
  • Proposed solution is well thought out and provides benefits for skaters and pedestrians

• Data Collection and Research Methods

• • Research methods are clearly stated and primary sources of data are listed

• Scope of this Inquiry

• • Scope of inquiry is well written and highlights the main questions the report serves to address

 

Data Section

• Each section is appropriately divided, and addresses a different participant pool and their responses

• Response from Skaters

• • Highlights the response from participants who are skaters and their concerns regarding skating
  • Including a figure of the results from skaters will prevent large blocks of text

• Response from Non-skaters

• • The data is properly analyzed and graphed
  • The results are explained thoroughly and highlights the concerns non-skaters have due to the absence of small-wheeled vehicle lanes

• Practicality of Implementation

• • Assesses the practicality and feasibility of the proposed solution (Implementation of specific roadways for small-wheeled vehicles)
  • The sections is well separated to address three different aspects
    • The third section, ‘road design’, is rather brief
      • Discussing the pros and cons of having a non-elevated lane compared to an elevated lane will strengthen the argument for either one

 

Conclusion

• Editing the headings labels to ‘A’ and ‘B’ instead of ‘1’ and ‘2’ ensures consistency throughout the report

• Summary and Overall Interpretation of Findings

• • This section summarizes the findings and significance of the report concisely

• Future Suggestions and Recommendations

• • This section is well written, acknowledges the limitations of the study, and lists potential adjustments for future investigation
  • Recommendations are logical and are supported by the findings 
  • Consider changing the subject heading from “Future suggestions and recommendations” to “Limitations and Future Suggestions”

 

Organization:

• Headings are effectively used to separate different sections and subsections
  • Bolding headings and subheadings will make it easier for the reader to identity each section
• Pages are not correctly paginated
  • Page numbers should be altered so that page 1 will be the beginning of the introduction, and the abstract should be considered page iii
• The flow of the report is good, and all parts of the report are connected together in a logical manner
• The header should include a running head
  • Please refer to Page 516 in the textbook for an example and more information
• The title page well formatted, however it is missing the date at the bottom of the page

 

Style:

• The tone remains positive throughout the paper, but does explain the problems at hand, and the importance of addressing the issues regarding skater and pedestrian safety

 

Brevity, Grammar, and Word Choice:

• Overall, there are no major issues regarding word choice and grammar as the report is well written and easy to follow
• There are a few parts in the report that could be adjusted for brevity
  • For example in section 1B: Background Information, the sentence “As skating gains popularity over the past couple of years, it has transitioned from just a street sport to something people use to get around different destinations.”
    • This can be rewritten as, “Small-wheeled vehicles have risen in popularity in recent years and transitioned from being just a street sport to a mode of transportation”.
      • This will also avoid any confusion as the reader may mistake “skating” for ice skating

 

Design:

• Figures are appropriately labeled and are visually appealing
• Enlarging Figures 1 and 2 will make the text easier for the reader to see
• Figure 4 and its caption should be centered so it is consistent with the formatting of the other figures in the report
• The font size is appropriate, and text is double-spaced throughout the report

 

Summary:

The problems for skaters and non-skaters regarding the use of small-wheeled vehicles is clearly defined, and the proposed solution is conveyed in a logical manner. For the final version of this report, I would like to offer the following suggestions:

• Revise the report and reword a few sentences for the sake of brevity and clarity
• Bold the headings and subheadings for clarity and ensure the formatting of the headings and subheadings are consistent throughout the paper
• Including a figure in section 2A (Responses from Skaters) helps to avoid large blocks of text
• If available, consider adding results from a secondary source of data (Ex – case studies and research papers) on the positive outcomes from including lanes for specific individuals to support your argument 

 

If there are any questions regarding any of the comments and suggestions that are listed above, please do not hesitate to ask. I can be reached through email at jkuan99@student.ubc.ca.