Peer Review – Draft of Formal Report ‘Efficient Usage of Recycling Stations at the University of British Columbia.’

To: Eric Zhang, Member of Team Connect4

From: Hansol Yang, Member of Team Connect4

Date: March 19th, 2022

Subject: Peer Review – First Draft of ‘Efficient Usage of Recycling Stations at the University of British Columbia.’

 

Thank you for your work on the first draft of the formal report, ‘Efficient Usage of Recycling Stations at the University of British Columbia.’ Your analysis and suggestion on the efficient usage of recycling stations at UBC are very interesting, writing about the important topic in a highly analytic and logical manner. Please see the review of the first draft below with suggestions for improvements.

First Impression:

The report focuses on providing recommendations for enhancing the recycling stations at UBC, especially the solution of using recycling stations employees. The report is well-organized and correctly formatted.

Content:

• The overall data section is informative, showing the current usage and opinions on recycling.
• The writing contains proper contents, providing valuable information to the UBC sustainability program, the identified reader.
• The sentences and words used in the formal report draft are very clear. You may not need any further explanation on the terms.
• The guidelines for the formal report state that the word count should be 2500 – 3500 words, but your draft has only 1578 words in total.

Organization:

• The organization of the draft is very clear and effective to show the problem and the solution.
• The subtitles are in good organization and show the contents of each part clearly. However, please consider numbering the subtitles. 
• The table of contents has correct page numbers, but there are no page numbers on each page.
• Adding page numbers for the figures will make the report more readable.

Introduction:

• The introduction contains the necessary information for the study; background, problem, purpose, solution, and research design.
• The ‘Identify Areas of Concern’ may need more elaboration. It mentions the two factors, but the two factors do not any other parts of the study or the report. You may be able to connect it to the solutions, explaining that the potential solution is effective as it can be a good solution for the two factors.
• ‘Research Method’ has secondary sources that are not used in your study.
• If you add more information about the survey, it will be better to understand the data. For example, the target of the survey, the number of participants, etc.

Data Section:

• The overall data section shows the result of the survey very clearly.
• The analysis of the data is written in detail.
• The sample size is unclear. Some parts of the data section have data of 33 people in total, while the other parts have 28 people. Please explain more about the sample if there are any reasons for the different sample sizes.
• It will be easier to understand the data if the numerical values are stated in percentages.
• Your interpretation of the data may help the readers get the point of the study. For example, in the ‘Student Participation’ part, you can add that the result shows that UBC can hire students as sorting station employees, and it has the benefits of more jobs for students with a less economic burden to the university.

Conclusion:

• The conclusion has a good summary of the result of the study. Readers can easily check the survey result.
• Some parts of ‘Benefits of Hiring Sorting Station Employee’ can go to the introduction section or the data section. A conclusion should not contain too much new information.

Style:

• The overall draft is written in an objective, positive and analytic tone. The writing avoids using negative words or revealing personal opinions on the topic and logically shows that a more efficient way of using recycling stations is necessary at UBC.
• The suggestions are written in YOU-attitude, avoiding using ‘I.’
• Some parts of the flow and paragraphs need to be elaborated on a little more due to unexpected transitions or lack of explanation. For example:
  ‘While many of us, who are doing our part to protect the environment by sorting our wastes, there are many others who are still not doing their part. UBC Life Building and the AMS Nest are primary social gathering locations for UBC students.’ -> This part may need more explanation on the reason you are mentioning the Life Building and the AMS Nest, such as ‘UBC Life Building and the AMS Nest are two of the places that many people fail to recycle.’

Design:

• You used graphics for almost all questions, which makes the readers understand the data analysis easier.
• The figures are keeping the right format.
• Some figures have titles that are rather explanations. For example: ‘Figure 4 – Shows if the participants would be willing to work at the sorting stations’ -> ‘Figure 4 – The Number of Participants Willing to Work at the Sorting Stations.’
• The figures might be easier to understand if there are labels for each data.
• The subtitles are bolded or underlined, which makes the organization clear.

Expression:

• Your expressions have strength in simple and clear writing.
• Some of the expressions might be written in rush. For example:
  ‘While many of us, who are doing our part to protect the environment by sorting our wastes, there are many others who are still not doing their part.’ -> This sentence does not have a verb and should be revised such as: ‘While many of us do our parts to protect the environment by sorting our wastes, there are many others who are still not doing their parts.’

Grammar and Typos:

You used proper grammar and words, but there still are some minor grammar errors and typos.

• Some sentences have errors in singular and plural.
  ex) ‘there are four different color of garbage bins.’ -> ‘there are four different colors of garbage bins.’
• There are some mistakes in the words. For example, you used ‘Table 1’ when you are explaining ‘Figure 1.’

Concluding Comments:

The draft of the formal report really shows the research purpose, information, and result well for the intended readers. Please consider the points provided below while editing the formal report:

• Considering the guideline for the required word count
• Providing page numbers for each page and the figures
• Revising the introduction to be a better explanation of the conducted survey and the study
• Elaborating more on the mentioned factors and the meaning of the data
• Checking the expressions and grammar, especially for the singular and plural.

It was a great pleasure reading your writing. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions about the review. I hope this review is helpful for your final formal report.

 

MEMO – Formal Report Draft