Peer Review of Formal Report Draft

To: Varneega Theva – ENGL 301 student

From: Jen Worsham – ENGL 301 student

Date: March 19, 2022.

Subject: Formal Report Draft – Peer Review

Thank you for sharing your work with me. Your Formal Report regarding Implementation of Subsidized Hot Beverage Vendors on Campus at UBC was very well-written, thorough, and interesting to read. I have assessed the writing as a Peer Review, and I offer some suggestions below.

First Impressions

This is a well-considered proposal. Hot beverages might not seem like part of food scarcity at first, but when it is logically presented as a serious financial burden on already-overwhelmed students, it becomes clear that this is an unmet need.  Well-done on your use of the present tense in your writing.

Organization

This report is very well-organized and is laid out logically.

Table of Contents

The Table of Contents is formatted clearly and corresponds to the material and headings.

Introduction

The Introduction is well-constructed and cleanly identifies the problem and the reasoning behind it. The graphic at the beginning grabs the reader’s attention immediately and conveys the scope of the issue. You do a good job of discussing some of the attempts already being made to address food insecurity.

Data Section

Your research is very through and specific, citing dollar amounts and utilizing public and internal UBC research as well as primary feedback via surveys. The limitations are stated well, and I want to note that though a sample size of 68 may be small for formal research, it is quite a sizable group for you to have sourced and surveyed on your own. Well done.

Visuals

The survey visual you created is easy to read and quickly conveys the data you obtained from your surveys.

Conclusion

The recommendations in your conclusion are sound and feasible. This report is intriguing and offers insights and suggestions that may effect real change on campus at UBC.

Grammatical and Technical Errors

Please note the following minor typographical and grammatical errors:

Page 4:

• “least affordable” should be “least-affordable”
• “there has been dramatic” should be “there have been dramatic”
• “This project operates as a not-for-profit service, with food and labour costs subsidized by UBC while offering healthy vegan and non-vegan meal options to UBC students for the low price of $3 during peak lunch hours Monday through Friday at two locations on campus.”
  • The above passage could be made into two sentences such as the following: “This project operates as a not-for-profit service, with food and labour costs subsidized by UBC. Healthy vegan and non-vegan meal options are offered to UBC students for the low price of $3 during peak lunch hours Monday through Friday at two locations on campus.”

Page 5:

• “received by students” should be “received from students”
• “Secondary sources including researching coffee consumption of students at other universities and their impact.”
  • This is a sentence fragment, consider changing the word “including” to the word “include”, or add more phrasing after the word “impact”, such as “were examined”.

Page 6:

• “…subsidized cafes on campus.”
  • This line should possibly be followed by a colon, not a period.
• Item 1 may need a question mark at the end.

 

Page 7:

• “The survey utilized was developed to investigate the importance of providing affordable and quality hot brewed beverages on campus, and whether the current students’ needs are being met.”
  • The comma in the above sentence is improperly placed. Perhaps change the sentence to something like the following: “The survey utilized was developed to investigate the importance of providing affordable, quality hot brewed beverages on campus and whether the current students’ needs are being met.
• “…69% of these beverages are caffeinated and 78% of these students rate the affordability as not quite reasonable…” should have a comma, as in, “…69% of these beverages are caffeinated, and 78% of these students rate the affordability as not quite reasonable…”

 

Page 8:

• “A shockingly 76% of students voted affordability as the number one factor in deciding where to purchase these drinks, and 18% of students preferring convenience.”
  • This sentence should possibly either begin “A shocking 76% of students…” or “Shockingly, 76% of students…”
• The phrase “…drinks, and 18% of students preferring convenience” could possibly read “…drinks, while 18% of students prefer convenience.”
• “…coffee on campus which correlates to our findings” could use a comma after the word “campus”.
• “These students reported they…”
  • This sentence may be better in present tense, as in “These students report that they…”
• “…vendor they up choosing from”
  • This sentence seems to have a missing word. Perhaps it should be “…vendor they end up choosing.”

Overall, you have produced a high-quality report with only minor revisions to consider. Please feel free to email me at jworsham@student.ubc.ca .

Assignment 3.2 – Formal Report Draft by Varneega Theva