Peer Review of Formal Report Draft: Enhancing Resident Engagement in Marine Drive 

To: Katherine Chan, English 301 Student Writer

From: Ali Hasan, English 301 Student Reviewer

Date: March 27, 2022

Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report Draft: Enhancing Resident Engagement in Marine Drive 

Thank you for submitting your formal report draft on Enhancing Resident Engagement in Marine Drive. This formal report examines residents’ satisfaction and motivation for participating in programming in Marine Drive residence. Primary data is collected, as well as secondary research to justify many strong points throughout the paper.

 

First impressions on content:

• Proposal presents a strong argument for the various impacts of working remotely and traditional in-person model
  • Very informative
  • Each section is relevant to the overarching analysis
• Report is very organized and broken down into sections and subsections
  • Each section discusses a key point in regards to the satisfaction and motivation for participating in programs within residence in general.

Organization:

• The entire report is broken down into a very organized manner
  • Table of contents is nicely formatted and correctly labeled
  • Figures are labeled with sub-headers, presenting to the reader background knowledge of what the image is representing
  • Flow of paper and transitions throughout the report seem seamless, very easy to read and understand 
• A transition from secondary research to own research would be nice, recommend adding a sentence regarding why you decided to do this study. Maybe add to the beginning of “Current Marine Drive Resident’s Perceptions and Opinions”, a transition sentence similar to “To investigate this topic further, it is important to look into perceptions and opinions of Marine Drive Residents currently.”, something similar

Design:

• Graphics were informative
  • Sub-headers help readers understand the graphics at better length

Elements of the Formal Draft:

Introduction:

• Detailed introduction that introduces what the reader is going to be learning about as the report continues
• The report has a sentence where it says it covers four major topics, I feel it covers more of the research behind Resident living and university life, and the conclusions drawn from research, own survey results and thoughts to discuss more about give recommendations on how to improve resident living. 

Data Section:

• Missing Methods section in the Data Section

Conclusion:

• The conclusion expands on the topic presented in the previous paragraphs, and elaborates on what can be done to better the situation presented
• Reccomendations are well thought out
• Limitations of study should be included with your survey results in the previous paragraph, maybe make a new section for where you discuss your survey results?

Works Cited List:

• MLA citing are done neatly

Grammar and Typos:

• Several instances where period is incorrectly placed
  • Example 1: For over sixty years UBC Housing has developed policies and practices through conversations with residents, resident councils, and residence staff to foster a positive living environment.
  • Revision 1: For over sixty years, UBC Housing has developed policies and practices through conversations with residents, resident councils, and residence staff to foster a positive living environment.
  • Example 2: For many students living in residence is their first opportunity to develop a sense of community.
  • Revision 2: For many students living in residence, it is their first opportunity to develop a sense of community.

Concluding comments:

Thank you for sharing a detailed and informative formal draft. This formal report is a great first draft and with some suggested revision it will be exceptional:

• Correct grammar and revision errors throughout the paper as stated in previous section
• Insert Methods section into the data section
• Add some transition sentences throughout the paper to make the paper flow even more seamlessly

I hope my recommendations are helpful as you complete this assignment. Please let me know if you have any questions. Good luck!