To: Jackson Kuan, Technical Writing Member
From: Duffy Du, Technical Writing Member
Date: Feb 5, 2022
Peer Review / Term: Electronegativity
Hi Jackson, I have finished reviewing your definitions of the term electronegativity. Please see below for comments and suggestions to consider adopting for your final version.
First impressions:
Overall great job on your work! Your explanation of electronegativity is clear, concise and easy to understand even for someone with little knowledge in chemistry. Some small revisions on explanations for hybridization and dipole moment would further aid understanding.
Organization:
- Document is well organized with an introduction and subheadings dividing sections
- The intended audience is clearly defined at the beginning of the document
- The expanded definition used four expansion strategies as required
- Reference list attached at the end of the document with sources cited in APA style
Expression:
- The entire document is written with correct grammar and with a professional tone
- The flow between ideas is smooth with the use of transition phrases
Content:
- Explanation on hybridization could be more in depth. For someone without a background in chemistry, it could be hard to understand what “s-character” and “p-character” means and how it relates to hybridization. A couple parenthetical definitions here and there would help explain the relationship between these terms and their hybridization.
- In addition, it would be nice to relate the hybridization to the visual of the periodic table – which areas of the period table contains elements with more p-character or s-character, and how is that related to their relative electronegativity.
- Similar idea with dipole moment. It may be hard for someone without chemistry background to understand what a dipole moment is. Since the focus of the definition is not on dipole moment but electronegativity, it would be sufficient to just provide a parenthetical definition to make sure readers have a basic understanding of what a dipole moment is.
- It would also be nice to point out exactly where in the figure is the dipole moment. For example, “As a result, a dipole moment, indicated as a red arrow in figure 2, develops towards the fluorine atom due to the difference in charge”.
Visuals:
- Visuals selected nicely accompany the content of the corresponding section, providing further aid in understanding.
- The description of equation 1 introduces the term “bond dissociation energy” which may be not understood by someone with little background in chemistry. Consider either omitting or explaining to avoid confusion.
- Figure 1 is small. Making it larger would help the readers see the “increasing/decreasing electronegativity” texts at the top and left of the picture.
Work Cited List:
- Correct APA-styled references and in text citation
- Visuals are well labelled with their source of retrieval
Concluding Comments:
This is an excellently written definitions document with correct citations and a professional tone. Some suggested revisions include:
- Equation 1 omission of “bond dissociation energy”
- Enlarge figure 1
- Further explanation needed on hybridization and dipole moment
Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any questions regarding the suggestions. I look forward to reading your finalized definitions.
Term Under Review: Electronegativity
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