To: Samantha Krieg, Writing Team Member
From: Jeemin Kim, Writing Team Member
Date: June 10, 2022
Subject: Review of your definitions assignment
Thank you for submitting your definitions assignment. I enjoyed reading about the degree of freedom as a non-technical reader. I believe it was very detailed and excellently written. Please consider the following suggestions for further improvement.
Organization
- Your assignment is written and organized clearly; it includes all the appropriate headings and sub-headings, making it easier for non-technical readers including myself to understand the term.
- Your assignment seems to be missing an introduction as well as a reading situation (please see the Step by Step Instructions for the definitions assignment under Unit 1 – Lesson 1:3). Adding the two will make it clearer for non-technical readers to understand the context for these definitions.
Visuals
- The images, which I assume you drew yourself, is very helpful in demonstrating the concept, as well as what the other jargon (e.g. rotational and translational movements) imply.
Content
- I was a little confused about the discipline or profession which the degree of freedom is used within, until I reached the last part of your expanded definition. I would suggest you move the sentence “The degree of freedom helps engineers understand how a structural member will respond to an applied load” to the beginning of the expanded definition, or mention the discipline earlier in the assignment.
Grammar & Language
- There are no apparent grammar mistakes or typos. Language is concise and professional.
Citation
- References are correctly cited.
I hope my peer review offers some help in the self-editing stage of this assignment. If any of my suggestions are unclear or require further elaboration, please let me know.
Leave a Reply