Peer Review Brianna’s Definition

Peer Review Assignment Form 1

Name of the Reviewer: Samantha Teeple

Authors Name: Brianna Diogo

Title of the Expanded Definition: What is Gingivitis

Three Questions Based on Definition Draft: 

1. Why were only two expansion strategies used?
2. Why is the parenthesis statement not concise?
3. Where is the proper punctuation at the end of what is gingivitis?

Initial impression: 

Upon initial reading of the expanded definition by the author, I thought the description of gingivitis was clear. I think the writer could have encapsulated the essence of gingivitis by enhancing the expanded version of the definition. I believe the meaning of the content conveyed the meaning of gingivitis and its characteristics. With these initial impressions of the definition, I would ask for minor changes for conciseness, the flow for readability, and additional information for expanding the gingivitis definition.

Comments about Purpose:

1. Is the purpose of the definition clearly defined?

• The purpose is clearly defined.

2. Do any of the documents stary from the intended purpose?

• Everything is clear and well thought out to contribute to the overall purpose.

Comments about Audiences:

I am very familiar with this term, and the information in the types of definitions is accurate to the condition presented. Appropriately selecting wording and addressing jargon to inform readers of missing data was well done for a non-technical audience.

Briefly describe any changes you would suggest.

The definition adequately depicts the meaning of gingivitis and the factors necessary to cause this condition. I would also just check some grammer and sentence strucures.

Comments about Organization:

The noticeable expansion methods include history in telling the reader what gingivitis is. Analysis of parts as it describes the details of which structures are involved in this condition. Required condition, what factors are needed to cause this condition. These expansion techniques work well together, but a further selection of expansion techniques could lead to a more defined understanding of gingivitis.

Does each section of the definition perform its intended task?

Yes, each section builds on the next.

Comment about visuals: are the visuals useful and correctly labelled? 

I could not see the visuals but thought the placement of figure 1 in the definition helped readers understand the visual’s importance. Both visuals were well labelled.

Overall Final Impressions

What elements of this document are most in need of improvement and why?

I feel like the elements needing improvement include:

• Tightening up the wordy introduction.
• Selecting more methods to expand the expanded definition.
• Using more resources as mentioned in the assignment outline.

Minor things to watch out for are passive tones.

What is the most effective element of this document and why?

The most effective element of this document is its ability to convey simplicity to readers of the meaning of gingivitis.

Additional Comments: 

You looked at selecting the most important words to define gingivitis in an easy-to-comprehend manner for those with no technical background in dental. Proper reference list format; good work!

Let me know if you have any additional questions.

Assignment 1.3 Brianna Diogo