To: Ethan Fung
From: Juanita Kwok
Date: June 10, 2022
Subject: Review of your Definitions Assignment
Dear Ethan,
I have received your first draft of the Definitions Assignment where you expanded on the term “amino acid“. You did a great job overall with the organizational layout of the assignment and it is full of information that you researched diligently. Below are some of my suggestions on how you can improve your assignment.
Organization
The spacing on the “Works Cited” page is inconsistent. The parenthetical definition is incomplete as it should be a full sentence. The headings before each paragraph would be effective having sentence case and removing the colon afterwards. Being strategic of what is underlined versus bolded would help break up the document and make it easier to read.
Grammar and Spelling
There were a couple of spelling and grammar mistakes throughout the document. For example, Louis Nicolas does not need a hyphen between the names and “Fischer” was spelled as Fisher the second time around. No apostrophe is necessary in the 1800s, a comma or semi-colon should always come before however if used in the middle of a sentence, and a word that begins with a vowel should have “an” as opposed to “a” preceding it (e.g. “an alcohol”). Ordinal numbers up until twelfth should be written out as words (e.g. 3rd should be third), with the exception for dates (e.g. June 3rd). When referring to LEGO in one of your examples, I would recommend including a trademarked symbol and keeping the caps lock on as that is how their name is stylized.
Research
I find that reviewing as someone who took organic chemistry, some of the terminology is explained using further complicated terminology such as carboxylic acid, peptide bond, and solid phase peptide synthesis. If the reader had a base knowledge of organic compounds, this would make much more sense. Otherwise, the vocabulary chosen is a bit technical for a non-technical audience. I do understand that there are words you had to include to understand an amino acid, so it was useful to have those numbered definitions in the footnote to refer to.
Visuals/Font
Overall, it is quite text heavy and having more colourful images/diagrams (such as Figure 1) that demonstrate different parts of the protein would be beneficial. The font is good although having some spacing between the lines would make it easier from a readability standpoint.
I hope my recommendations are helpful for you. Your report has a great foundation and once these changes are made, will be a great tool for people to learn more about this chemistry term. Please let me know should you have any questions.
Regards,
Juanita Kwok
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