Revision of peer review assignment EF

To: Matilda Murray

From: Ethan Fung

Peer review

Term: Historiography

 

First Impressions:

At a first glance, your definition of the term historiography was very well organized and appropriately suited for the target demographic. The assignment you submitted was a great rough draft however, here are a few suggestions.

 

Organization: 

• Overall very well organized the subheadings accurately described the different methods in your expanded definition
• The title Figure 1 should be underneath the visual not above it 
• There is no caption for Figure 1 defining what the visual is meant to convey
• The subheadings of your expanded definition are bolded and the headings are also bolded as well try to differentiate the two

 

Content:

• This assignment did not define a reading situation, otherwise, it met all other assignment requirements 
•  The example you gave of why historiography is important was very impactful and useful in understanding the term
• A few more shorter, recent examples could strengthen the delivery of your definition 
• A little wordy, try to narrow your focus and deliver your point more directly

 

Visuals:

• The visual is bright and descriptive which catches the reader’s attention
• There is no description of the visual either underneath the figure heading or in the rest of the assignment 
• No citation of where you got the figure from

 

Grammar/Sentence structure:

• There are a few run-on sentences and missing punctuation, for example:
  • “As new scientific methods developed and studying history became more popular historical facts started to be questioned, either by historians discovering more evidence or science disproving a theory.”
    • This was very confusing to read, putting a period after “started to be questioned” and then starting a new sentence would make it clearer
• “Historical” is capitalized when it shouldn’t be 
• A few grammatical errors like saying “ more utilized” rather than “utilized more”

 

Word Choice:

• Some words are ambiguous, for example:
  • “historiography became more utilized” 
    • The term utilized could be replaced with a more descriptive phrase such as “became more popular” or “Historiography always existed, but it was never widely used until…..” 

 

Works Cited:

• The works cited are correctly formatted 

 

Concluding comments:

Overall,  your writing was impressive, once the grammar and minor sentence structure errors are fixed you will have written a splendid definition of historiography. Hopefully, my suggestions helped you recognize some errors. If you do not agree with some of my criticisms, have questions, or would like help do not hesitate to reach out. I wish you the best of luck with the revision of your definition assignment.

Matilda’s Definitions Assignment