By Rida Irshad on June 29th, 2022
To: Olivia Fournier, English 301 Student Writer
From: Rida Irshad, English 301 Student Reviewer
Date: June 29th, 2022
Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report Proposal: Determining Effectiveness of Subsidized Dental Programs in Ontario, Canada
Thank you for submitting this proposal for determining the effectiveness of subsidized dental programs in Ontario, Canada. You have done a great job listing the current subsidized dental care programs available in ON and recognizing that these programs are not enough to meet the needs of the community. Following are some suggestions for further improving this proposal:
First Impressions:
A major strength to this proposal is how well it describes the problems faced by the participants of this program. The proposal indicates a good point that “determining the level of success through evaluating the individual who are in these programs, we can evaluate the short-comings of the dental care allowed.” This is an excellent way of determining the needs of the community and to determine the quality of care provided by these programs.
- One over all area of improvement would be to expand on ideas of what can be done to improve these subsidized plans. For instance, where will the funding come from, who qualifies to be part of the program or highlighting the risk factors of neglected dental care and its effects on overall health and on the healthcare system – this may add more depth to this proposal.
Organization:
The proposal is well organized and follows the guidelines provided. All headings are in order, bolded and appropriately titled.
Introduction:
The introduction identifies the current list of programs available, and their purpose. However, the introduction does not provide any background information of the chosen topic, does not state the problem or the purpose of the proposal. (see more comments on this below).
- One suggestion is to provide descriptions of the advantages of having better subsidized dental care programs OR disadvantages of having lack of these programs. This would provide more background information for those outside of the dental field.
- Intro should discuss the cause of the problem, expanding on what the listed programs provide and where the issues arise with these programs would have been helpful. This would have also provided an opportunity to state the propose of writing this proposal.
Statement of Problem:
This section of the proposal is well thought out. It clearly states the issue being raised by this proposal, describes why this matter should be concerning and briefly discusses how to recognize the needs of the participants of these programs. Good job.
Proposed Solution:
This section clearly states the solution to the problem, which would be to create a universal dental care plan for those in need. This idea does need to be expanded, for instance:
- Who is the audience? Who is this proposal being written to?
- How do you plan to create or improve the quality of current programs to better suit the needs of the participants?
- What would an ideal program look like to you?
Scope:
This assessment of acceptance and efficacy of four main subsidized programs by the four areas of research are well thought out and will surely provide some answers to the statement of problem. Interviewing current patients that are participants of these programs is a good strategy. Listing the four focused programs that this research plans to investigate would have been good to be noted here.
Methods:
The plan for collecting primary data (surveys) and secondary data sources (publications) is well-thought out. Interviewing participants, patients and professionals is a good approach to get a broad understanding of these programs and to fully inquire the four areas of interest listed in the scope of the proposal.
Grammar and Technical Errors:
No major grammar or technical errors noted. Sentences are short and to the point. The flow of the proposal is completed well and in a professional manner.
Revisions: Please note the suggested revisions in this review that will improve the quality:
- Providing background information for the reader
- Determining the audience that the proposal is being written to
- Expansion on the proposed solution
- Determining which specific programs will the research be based on
Overall, this is an outstanding proposal for an important inquiry that could help many individuals that are in need for dental care. I hope the suggestions provided are helpful and can assist in revising this proposal. If you have any questions or require clarification, please do not hesitate to contact me. Well done.
Leave a Reply