Peer review of Anushka’s formal proposal – Jessica Barlescu

To: Anushka Nair, ENGL 301 Student Writer

From: Jessica Barlescu, ENGL 301 Student Reviewer

Date: June 29^th, 2022

Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report Proposal: Proposal to improve community engagement in Bedok public library run by Singapore’s National Library Board (NLB)

Thank you for submitting the proposal for improving community engagement in Bedok Public Library, run by Singapore’s National Library Board (NLB). It was an enjoyable read. Please see the review of the document below with suggestions for improvements.

First Impressions:

The proposal is well organized and written. The topic is very interesting, and the proposal provides readers with insight into how community engagement has significantly decreased since the COVID-19 pandemic.

Organization:

The proposal is well organized in a logical and systematic manner. All the headings are bolded and appropriately titled.

Introduction:

The introduction is well written and provides valuable information to help readers understand how COVID-19 has impacted the community programs at Bedok Public Library.

Statement of Problem:

The use of statistics in the Statement of Problem section helps the reader understand how library visitorship has changed, and the effectively illustrates the significance of the problem.

• In text citations are required after listing the statistics of overall reach, and the number of programs open pre-pandemic compared to how many are currently operating.

Proposed Solution:

Clarification is needed in the Proposed Solution section when suggesting the creation of an omnichannel learning marketplace platform.

• Adding a parenthetical definition for omnichannel would help the reader understand the proposed solution.
• Further elaboration is needed on what the omnichannel learning marketplace platform could provide library users with, and how this could increase community participation.

Scope:

The assessment of determining the feasibility of implementing an omnichannel learning marketplace platform is very suitable to its purpose. Excellent job identifying seven areas of inquiry.

Methods: 

The proposed plan for collecting primary (surveys and interviews) and secondary data sources (National Library Board annual reports) are excellent sources of data for this proposal and the areas of inquiry.

Qualifications:

In the Qualifications section, the writing is vague when referring to access to employees.

• Which employees will you have access to?
• How will your association with the government give you an opportunity to conduct this study?

Grammar and Typos:

• Bedok Public Library is a proper noun, therefore public and library should be capitalized along with Bedok when referring to that specific library branch.
• No typos or spelling mistakes observed.

Revisions

Please make the suggested revisions in this review that will improve the quality of this proposal:

• Adding in-text citations where statistics have been used in the Introduction and Statement of Problem sections
• Adding a target audience for the proposal.
• Elaborating on what the proposed solution will look like, and how it will specifically solve the problem.
• Expanding on your qualifications to convince the reader of your capability.
• Making the recommended grammar adjustment.

Overall, the proposal is well written, and it was an interesting topic to read about. Thank you and please feel free to ask any questions, it has been a pleasure reviewing this work.

Anushka’s Formal Report Proposal