Peer Review of Madison Strasman’s Formal Report Proposal 

To: Madison Strasman, ENGL 301 Student  

From: Piper Kim, ENGL 301 Student 

Date: June 29, 2022

Subject: Peer Review of Madison Strasman’s Formal Report Proposal 

Title of Formal Report Proposal: “Proposal for installing light on the UBC Highway” 

Thank you for posting your formal report proposal on Leif Jack’s Team Forum. I have enjoyed reading your report. Please review my comments down below for suggestions on improvements! 

Initial Impressions: 

• The proposal is well-written and has really good potential!
• I really found this proposal to be interesting and important (this proposal can affect us, ENGL 301 students, since we all attend UBC)
• You seem like a good candidate for this proposal — your qualifications and interests in improving the light system are showcased through your intensive research on this matter
• For your title, please make it more clear that you are proposing installation of “NEW” lights on the UBC highway

Organization 

• Excellent introduction! You did a good job explaining the main factor of your proposal but you could further include the lights issue on Southwest Marine Drive so it’ll be ease into your statement of problem
• Easy to follow and concise
• Subtitles are all properly bolded and font size/color are all the same

Content 

• You have included almost all of  the required elements, well done (just don’t forget your works cited section) 
• You previously mentioned that there have been many incidents on this highway due to it being poorly lit. In the “statement of problem” section, I would include a recent article of an accident that occurred so it can emphasize why this is a severe problem.
• “Methods” section could improve by providing more insight on secondary sources 
  • Expand on the studies that will be used on Pacific Spirit Park and the University Endowment Lands — what will you gain from these studies? What information are you specifically looking for? 

Expressions/Tenses

• Your tone and language used throughout the proposal was appropriate to the reader
• Some sentences are wordy and can be be expressed better
  • For example, “With this, vehicles will be able to have better vision of their surroundings and additionally light up sidewalks with pedestrians”. 
  • I would suggest rephrasing it to “With this installation, vehicles and pedestrians will be able to have better vision of their surroundings.”

Grammar and Typos 

• I did not notice any grammatical errors, well done
• Some sentences are run-ons
  • For example, “For three years I have been majoring in human geography and gathering knowledge on the importance of community input and community well-being, I have become intrigued after many news reports regarding incidents on the UBC Highway, and personal experiences, to investigate and improve the lighting system.” You could definitely split this into multiple sentences so it’s not too wordy.

Final Impressions 

• I love the proposal and I hope this gets approved by Dr. Paterson so you can continue your research
• If you include my suggestions, I hope it can make your report more persuasive and effective

Overall, your report was well written! Thank you for taking your time to read my review of your proposal. If you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to reach out. I have attached a pdf file of this peer review and your formal report proposal down below. 

Peer Review: Peer Review of Madison Strasman’s Formal Report Proposal

Madison’s Formal Report Proposal: Madisons-Report-Proposal

Best, 

Piper