Peer review of Danae’s formal report draft – EF

To: Danae Echeverria 
From: Ethan Fung
Date: July 27, 2022
Subject: Peer review of the formal report draft: Staffing Shortage And Employee Burnout At C Market Coffee:
Addressing Current Challenges And Potential Strategies To Manage Staffing Problems

The formal report draft: “Staffing Shortage And Employee Burnout At C Market Coffee: Addressing Current Challenges And Potential Strategies To Manage Staffing Problems” is an insightful and enjoyable read. There are some small errors noticed in the report and the following recommendations will help in the revision process. 

First Impressions

• The writing is clear and concise throughout the report.   
• The data collected is relevant to the topic at hand. 
• Incomplete data section.
• The conclusion is well-versed and gave meaningful recommendations. Well done. 

Introduction 

• Great explanation of why small and medium enterprises (SME) are facing labour shortages. 
• Introduction to C Market Coffee is well written.
• Including a more descriptive goal/purpose of the report will help the reader understand the report better. 
• Describing why a survey was performed, or the general goal of the surveys will improve clarity in the methods section.
• There are some grammatical errors that will be discussed in the grammar section of this peer review, but overall this is well written.

Data section 

• There is missing data in the Statistics on Retention Strategies section.
•  Providing an interpretation of the data would help the reader understand what the data means and if there are any other factors to take into account.
• Figures are large and clear. 
• Most of the data collected are about worker satisfaction/enjoyment. 
  • Including some data about the proposed solutions would be beneficial to the overall persuasiveness of the report.
• Listing the figures directly will help the reader tell what figure is being referenced. 
  • For example, instead of “The following figure represents….” writing  “Figure 1 represents….” would make the sentence clearer. 
• Part of the bar graph in Figure 2 is cut off and there is a missing component (light blue) in the legend. 
• Including the number of respondents in each figure is essential. 
• Including a numbered X-axis will improve Figure 3 by providing quantitative results. 

Conclusion 

• The conclusion restates the problems SME’s face nicely.
• Summarizing the results of the study and how it relates to the problems SME’s face will help refresh readers on the purpose of the report.
• Including more details in some sentences will help the reader understand what is being referred to.
  • For example “To summarize, these solutions have been statistically proven to reduce the impact for SMEs” 
    • What is impact referring to? The impact of what? 

Content, Organization, and Design

• Some page numbers in the table of contents are incorrect.
• Providing a statement sentence at the start of each subsection in the data section would help guide readers through each topic of discussion. 
• The whole report is well organized with appropriate sections and sub-sections.
• Pie graphs are colourful, and large. 
  • Including the number of participants in each pie graph will make the percentages meaningful.
• Changing the font size between subheadings and headings will make the difference more distinct.
• Applying the suggestions about the figures in the data section of this peer review will make figures clearer and more easily interpretable. 

Style and Grammar 

• Revising the report in a positive tone will help the overall persuasiveness of the report. 
  • For example “In order to mitigate the effects of labour shortages and improve employee retention, an employee retention plan could be implemented at C Market Coffee” can be changed to “ An employee retention plan implemented at C Market coffee would increase the overall satisfaction and enjoyment of employees and customers”.
• Replacing semicolons with periods or commas in some sentences would improve readability.
  • For example “The new venue is designed to seat 75 people, offering coffee, alcoholic beverages, bakery products, and food; additionally, it plans to function as a training center for new baristas, coffee brewers, and roasters looking to advance in their coffee knowledge.” The semicolon could be replaced with a period in this sentence or the word “additionally” could be removed. 
• Shortening some sentences will improve readability.
  • For example “In order to mitigate the effects of labour shortages….” can be changed to “To mitigate the effects of labour shortages….”
• “You” attitude writing is used effectively in this report. Well done. 
• Revising the report specifically for better word choice will improve sentence structure within the report.
  • For example in the sentence: “Accordingly, low levels of satisfaction with the organization is more likely to lead to an intention to leave or change workplace.” the “is more” can be replaced with “will”. 

Summary

Overall, the formal report on improving worker satisfaction at C Market Coffee is informative and the recommendations were realistic.  By applying the suggestions provided above and summarized below, the report will be improved. 

• Adding the number of participants in each figure and including missing figure components.
• Applying a positive tone and fixing grammatical errors to improve readability.
• Filling in missing data sections and including more data on potential fixes to the problem C Market Coffee is facing. 
• Summarizing the results in the conclusion to refresh the reader on the goal of the report.

If there are any questions contact me at ethanfung5080@gmail.com. Best of luck in the revision process.

Enclosure: Danae’s formal report draft

Formal-Report-DE