Peer review of Anushka’s formal report draft

To: Anushka Nair, ENGL 301 Student Writer

From: Jessica Barlescu, ENGL 301 Student Reviewer

Date: July 27^th 2022

Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report Draft

Thank you for submitting your formal report draft. Below is my review of the draft, and suggestions for revisions for the final draft of the report.

 

First Impressions

A very well written and organized draft. It contains almost all necessary sections and only needs minor format changes.

Content

Introduction

• A very strong and well written introduction. It provides the reader of the report with enough information to illustrate the effect of COVID-19 on community engagement within libraries in Singapore. The sentence “The overall number of visitors reduced from 26.7 million in 2019 to 9.06 million” requires an in-text citation at the end of the sentence with the source of the statistic.
• The purpose section of the introduction does not need to be in bullet form format.

Data Section

• In the first paragraph, the source of the secondary data should be made clear.
• Secondary data section is missing.
• Adding text to supplement the figures of the survey will help the reader better understand and interpret what they are looking at. Additionally, the font on the graphs is quite small and therefore difficult to read.
• Adding the number of responses for each main category for question 7 would provide more details as to which categories are most popular.
• The section contains many different sources of data, making it a very thorough investigation into the problem.

Conclusion

• Elaborating on the interpretation of each bullet point listed would help make clearer connections.
• The in-text citation in the Recommendations section should be placed before the period: “This would include improving digital facilities offered by the NLB, including the mobile app, and ensuring that library spaces are open for work and learning (National Library Board).
• A very creative solution is provided to help solve the problem addressed.

 

Organization and Design

• Title page requires the date including the day of the month.
• Table of Contents page should start on a new page.
• The References page requires hanging indentation.
• Adding an Appendix page with survey and interview questions is necessary.

 

Concluding Comments

• Make the recommended format changes to the report.
• Adding an Appendix page, and the body paragraph of the secondary sources section.
• Adding more information to supplement the figures to help the reader easily follow and understand the survey data.

Overall, the formal draft report is well written, and addresses a very important problem. Thank you and please feel free to ask any questions, it has been a pleasure reviewing this work.

Formal report draft