Dale’s Review of Harvey’s Definitions

Dale’s Review of Harvey’s Definitions

To: Harvey Dhaliwal
From: Dale Miller
Date: June 10, 2022
Subject: Peer Review of your Definitions of the term Angioplasty

I have reviewed your three definitions for the term angioplasty and thought you did a great job overall.

First Impressions:

This is a well-organized and explained collection of definitions. In particular, the parenthetical and sentence definitions and etymological explanation were well done. There were, however, some confusing parts in the history and operating principle sections that can be made more clear with a little more information. Please see the comments below for more details.

Organization:

• The section headers do a great job of organizing the definitions, and the introduction explains exactly what to expect in the piece with a good explanation of the reading situation.
• The use of sections within the expanded definition made it clear which expansion techniques were being used.
• The visual is useful for understanding the function of a stent, but perhaps could have been placed within the expanded definition itself, closer to where the term is used, rather at the end of the piece.

Expression:

• The expression in the definitions is clear and the tone is professional and overall well written.
• The parenthetical definition could have been improved by briefly explaining how a blocked blood vessel relates to a heart attack.
• The sentence definition could have had a smoother transition between the two sentences, to show that the second sentence is an explanation of the process mentioned in the first.
• The etymological section of the expanded definition is clearly written except for the use of the word “etymons”, which could have used a parenthetical definition of its own.

Definitions:

• The history section could be improved with a brief explanation of what angioplasty techniques date back to 300 BC. This is an interesting statement and worthy of further discussion.
• In the second sentence of history, it is unclear which procedure is being referred to by “In this procedure.” Briefly explaining both could help with the issue mentioned in the previous comment.
• In the operating principle section, it is unclear how a stent fits in with the modern version of angioplasty, and how it differs from the catheter mentioned in the first sentence. Perhaps an explanation of how angioplasty alone works, and how a stent improves it would make this section a bit more clear.

Visual:

• The visual is a great tool for helping understand what the stent process looks like, but raised the question on what an angioplasty looks like without the use of a stent, since the stent is mentioned in the last paragraph as an improvement on angioplasty alone. Perhaps an additional visual showing the later procedure would make it more clear.

Works Cited List:

• The works cited lists is extensive and correctly formatted in APA style.

Content:

The document is complete according to the requirements, and includes the following:

• An introduction
• Three definition forms
• Four expansion methods, including one visual
• A correctly formatted works cited list

Concluding Comments:

This is a nicely written set of definitions on the term angioplasty. It provided clear definitions and is written in a well-organized and professional style. As listed above, some improvements could be made in the expression and definitions themselves, but overall good job!

Link to Harvey’s definitions here.