Peer Review of Samantha’s Formal Report Proposal (Jeemin Kim)

To: Ms. Samantha Krieg, ENGL 301 Student

From: Ms. Jeemin Kim, ENGL 301 Student

Peer Review / Formal Report Proposal: Improving Understanding of Waste Sorting at UBCO

Thank you for submitting your formal report proposal assignment for lesson 2:1. Your proposal very interesting and enjoyable to read. Please review the following suggestions for improving your next draft and final report.

First Impressions:

The proposal is extremely detailed and excellently organized. The use of bullet points made it easy to quickly read through the entire draft. The topic is straightforward and relatable to students and faculty of UBC who want to become more environmentally conscious.

Organization:

• The formatting of the proposal is properly done.
• The introduction effectively delivers the background information necessary to understand the proposal’s topic and objective.
• The proposed solution and methods is extremely detailed and the subheadings make it easier to understand the important points.
• The conclusion clearly summarizes the proposal and suggests the significance of the analysis.

Expression:

• The tone and language is professional and appropriate for its intended readers.
• The writing is clear and concise.

Content:

• The proposal includes an Introduction, Statement of Problem, Proposed Solution, Scope, Methods, Qualifications and Conclusion.
• The intended audience is a bit unclear – is it a specific department, such as the UBCO Facilities Management and Sustainability Office?
  • According to the assignment details: “The final report will be addressed and written for a specific reader or readers who have the authority to act on your recommendations.” However, under Scope and Conclusion, it is written that the analysis results will be used for the Innovate, Design, Sustains Campus Waste Initiatives team.
    • Clearly indicate which specific departments/specific readers have the authority to implement the proposed solution.
• Under Methods, “section four” appears multiple times but its meaning is unclear. Is it referring to the same proposal, or is it referring to the survey conducted by the student club?
• Under Qualifications – Civil Engineering Student, the writing is a bit vague. Consider writing your qualifications in a more direct way.
  • e.g. My academic experience as a civil engineering student has highlighted the importance of triple bottom line sustainability.
    • As a civil engineering student, I understand the importance of triple bottom line sustainability.
  • Another suggestion is to keep it consistent by changing the entire paragraph into bullet points.

Works cited:

• The proposal is cited properly and the references list is complete.
• One of the references is missing parentheses outside the date.
  • Mackintosh, A. (2018). UBC Okanagan waste audit. Unpublished Article. Green Step Solutions Inc., Kelowna.

Grammar and typos:

• There are no apparent grammar errors or mistakes.
• “Waste sorting best practices” appears in the Introduction and Statement of Problem. If this is typo, please omit “best”.
  • … improving the understanding of waste sorting best practices at UBCO …
  • The lack of understanding of waste sorting best practices at UBCO …
• There is a typo under Qualifications – Campus Waste Initiatives Co-Lead at Innovate, Design, Sustain UBCO:
  • Coordinate with other executive members of IDS to create events on campus that improved awareness of sustainability efforts and waste management

Concluding comments:

Overall, your proposal was excellently written and interesting to read. As a student interested in environmental sustainability, I really look forward to reading your final report. For further improvement, please review the following suggestions before drafting the report:

• Identify the intended audience (specific department, student club, etc.)
• Clarify certain terms and fix the minor typos mentioned above
• Elaborate your qualifications as a civil engineering students in a more direct way

Thank you for your hard work. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns regarding the peer review.

Formal Report Proposal