To: Kristy Vyfschaft, Engl 301 Student Writer
From: Brianna Diogo, Engl 301 Student Reviewer
Date: June 29, 2022
Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report Proposal: Proposal for Evaluating the Mental Health Concerns in a Dental Practice and the Feasibility of an in-office Mental Health Program
Thank you for your research proposal about evaluating the mental health concerns in a dental practice. You did a great job presenting the needs and suggestions for improvements. Below are some suggestions to improve your proposal.
First Impressions:
- The proposal was clear and concise in the way that it explained the obvious need for an in-office Mental Health Program
- One thing I would love to see expanded on is the proposed solution
Organization:
- The document is clearly organizes and easy to read and interpret
- The headings are clear and the layout makes it easily accessible
Introduction:
- The introduction includes a background of the dental profession and the way that the profession is impacted by mental health
- The second sentence in the second paragraph should be restructured
Statement of the Problem:
- Clearly states the problem and the potential reasons for it, great job
- Would love one or two more sentences to round out the section a little bit more
Proposed Solution:
- The proposed solutions are clearly attainable
- Solutions are presented well
Scope:
- Would also look at something like “how could this be made easily accessible through many avenues?”
- Good areas of inquiry
Methods:
- May also be helpful to look at programs currently running in similar environments
Qualifications:
- Informative
- Gives good insight as to why you are able to write about this with experience
Conclusion:
- Concise and summative
Grammar and Technical Errors:
Introduction:
- The second sentence of the second paragraph needs to be restructured
Final Remarks and Revisions:
The suggested revisions in the review will improve the overall quality of the document.
- Edit to ensure all sentences are concise and meaningful
- Add comparison between similar programs
The proposal is clear and concise. It is a great suggestion to improve the mental health programs in the dental practice. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or concerns.
https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl30198a2022s12/2022/06/22/kristys-research-proposal/
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