To Nicole White, ENGL 301 Student
From: Harvey Dhaliwal, ENGL 301 Student
Peer Review: “Feasibility of Implementing a Website for Piquant Gourmet Specialities”
First Impressions: Thank you for your excellent work on the project draft. Your findings and suggestions will most certainly be of benefit to your reader. Please see below for your peer review.
Organization and Layout:
- excellent organization and easy to read layout
- text blocks are arranged well, avoiding large chunks
- complete with most components:
- Title page
- Running header
- Table of contents
- Page numbers
- Headings and subheadings
- adding a list of figures and tables below the table of contents would make it easier to find visuals
Introduction:
- effectively introduces the background information and main areas of focus
- concise sentence structure with excellent flow of ideas between points
- considering alternative word use, “attitudes” rather than “behaviors” would be more suitable
- “Public’s behaviors towards websites” (pg. 1, para. 3, line 2)
- ensuring consistent capitalization of “Piquant”
- “Is a website for piquant feasible?” (pg. 2, para. 2, bullet 1)
Data:
- figures effectively convey important findings
- excellent objective analysis of data
- rewording/removing sentences for brevity and clarity
- “Finally, figure 3 shows the last question” (pg. 3, para. 2, line 1) can be combined or replaced with the sentence that follows.
- “… also save money for the brand and products” (pg. 4, para. 3, lines 4-5) can be reworded for clarity (how does it save money for products?)
- establishing consistency in how survey data is stated (percentage vs absolute numbers) would help make the information easier to understand and absorb
- switches from percentage to absolute numbers (pg. 3, para. 2)
- clarifying jargon, expanding on ideas
- what is bounce rate, and how can knowing these analytics benefit Piquant? (pg. 5, para. 2)
- what is meant by “hands-off approach”? (pg. 6, para. 2, line 2)
- would hiring an independent developer mean Piquant is not involved in the website building process at all, or involved less? What would they still need to do specifically if anything?
- Costs
- expansive and informed discussion of different options
- Domain registration costs
- are the prices variable depending on what name is chosen? Are the dollar amounts listed just examples?
- if they are variable, it may be worthwhile to look up some potential domain names and their prices on the different websites listed
- this way you can cite the primary source directly rather than secondary website sources and get more relevant information
- E-commerce:
- it is stated in the desired features section that e-commerce is not the main focus of the website. However, it seems that the pre-order feature requires a paid upgrade to e-commerce functionality
- clarifying what is meant by e-commerce in this context (ex. beyond just pre-ordering?) would be helpful
- considering implementing e-commerce beyond pre-ordering, if the functionality is already paid for, may be beneficial
- Initial development costs:
- incorporating this information into the individual sections titled “hiring a web developer” and “online self-services” would help avoid repetition and improve clarity
- Design Options
- outlining the difference between normal and premium themes in terms of costs and benefit to the business would make this section more informative
Conclusion:
- Summary and Interpretation of Findings
- concise, informative summary
- Recommendations
- discussing Piquant’s capacity in terms of budget (if possible) would assist in assessing which options are feasible
- is Squarespace going to be used for domain registration too? Or only for the website hosting?
- expanding on why Squarespace is the best option with brief justification would help further the argument
References:
- utilizes a wide variety of sources
- reviewing the citations (in-text and reference list) to ensure they are in MLA format
- Purdue OWL is an excellent resource
- clearly differentiating original information and information from cited sources
- splitting Ellice citation (pg. 4, para. 3, lines 2-4) into two sentences clarifies what ideas are being cited and what are your own.
Style/Grammar/Typos:
- positive tone and you-attitude used throughout
- sentences are well constructed and clear
- proofreading the entire document and fixing grammatical errors is recommended, for example:
- “‘contact form” (pg. 5, para. 3, line 2)
- “website analytics is also important” (pg. 5, para. 3, line 9)
- “Choosing one depending on the specifications, the appearance, and the budget for the desired website.” (pg. 5, para. 1, line 6)
- reviewing table and figure label/reference format (see pg. 503 of text)
Concluding Comments:
The draft is largely complete, informative, and well organized. The information presented is relevant to the purpose of the document, and the benefit for the reader is clear. Please see below for a summary of suggested revisions:
- rewording/removing sentences for brevity
- expanding on ideas and clarifying stated information with details
- proofreading for grammatical errors
- reviewing title and figure labeling format
- reviewing citations to match MLA format
Overall, you have done an excellent job with this draft. Please let me know if you have any questions, thank you.
Draft Link: https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl30198a2022s12/2022/07/22/nicoles-formal-report-draft/
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