Assignment 1.3 | Peer Review for Illumina Sequencing definition (Revised on Apr 17)

To: Angie Zhou

From : Jade Duan

Peer Review / Term: Illumina sequencing

Thank you for submitting the definition assignment for lesson 1:3. It is clear, educative and well-structured, albeit having minor imperfections. For a detailed review, please see the document below with analysis and suggestions.

First Impressions:

This is an excellent definition of the term “Illumina sequencing.” All objectives of the assignment are addressed in this submission, and the user-friendly lengths of paragraphs are most impressive. However, the labeling before each paragraph in the expanded definition is slightly intrusive, such as “History” and “Sample Preparation”. Additionally, the organization of some paragraphs and the usage of some terms could cause confusion for a layperson.

Organization:

• This document has a good information structure where different levels of definition provide appropriate amounts of details.
• The paragraphs in the expanded definition are mostly of similar lengths, making the reading flow effortless and consistent.
• The document cites an abundance of references, supporting its own credibility.
• The numbering in the references list is not necessary, according to the APA manual.
• The paragraph of comparison with traditional sequencing methods appears isolated because of its length.

Expression:

• The expression in this document uses a highly professional tone. It avoids personal pronouns, describes concepts rigorously, and employs specialized terminology.
• The use of parenthetical definitions in the expanded definition is accurate and concise, enabling quick comprehension of terms that are simple but unfamiliar to a reader.
• Complex terms in the sentence definition “reversible terminator” can be replaced by simpler terms to enhance reader’s understanding. An example from which to learn could be this one from the textbook:

Throughout this report, the term disadvantaged student will refer to all students who lack adequate funds to pay for on-campus housing, food services, and medical care, but who are able to pay for their coursework and books through scholarships and part-time work. (Lannon & Gurak, 2021, p. 424)

• Breaking down some long sentences to shorter ones can help the narrative adapt to the intended audience’s knowledge level. For example:
  • “For each DNA fragment, DNA polymerase extends the primer and adds nucleotides one by one, with each incorporation being detected by a fluorescence signal” (Zhou, 2023).
    • Describing two complex procedures at once might appear overwhelming at first read.

Content:

• The document is complete according to the assignment requirements; it includes:
  • A detailed introduction
  • Three forms of definition
  • Five types of expansion
  • A visual
  • An APA style references list containing 4 references
• The figure could be centre-aligned on the page to improve the visual hierarchy.

Visuals:

• One image illustrating a detailed breakdown of the Illumina Sequencing Process is incorporated. This image is correctly numbered and its source is correctly documented. The content of the image successfully assists the explanation.

Works Cited List:

•  A thorough and correctly formatted references list is present.

Grammar and Typos:

• The introduction section at the start is missing a title.

Concluding Comments:

Your definition has holistically explained the complex term illumina sequencing, and the document provides a smooth reading experience. Thank you for presenting it. With several minor improvements, this document can become a even better professional writing for the intended audience:

• Removing numbers in front of items in the References list
• Modifying the paragraph of comparison to be more detailed
• Replacing or expanding some unexplained complex terms with simpler descriptions
• Centring figure 1 on the page to enhance visual hierarchy
• Using variations of long and short sentence to enhance understanding

Addendum

Link to the definition under review: https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl30199c2022w2/2023/02/08/definition-of-illumina-sequencing/

 

Works Cited

Lannon, John, and Laura Gurak. Technical Communication, Global Edition. Pearson, 2021.

Zhou, Angie. “Assignment 1.3: Definition of Illumina Sequencing – English 301 99C Technical Writing.” UBC Blog, 8 Feb. 2023, https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl30199c2022w2/2023/02/08/definition-of-illumina-sequencing/. Accessed 9 Feb. 2023.