Assignment 1.3 | Peer Review for the definition of Hydropneumatic suspension

To: Jade Duan
From: Angie Zhou

Peer Review / Term: Hydropneumatic suspension

Thank you for submitting the definition assignment for lesson 1:3. It was interesting and informative, and I was left with a good understanding of the term despite not coming from an engineering background. Please see below for comments and suggestions for improvements.

First Impressions:
Despite the complexity of the term “hydropneumatic suspension”, the definitions were clear, concise, and understandable. The high level of detail provided along with examples was also useful. The various methods of expansion used developed a well-rounded definition for hydropneumatic suspension. Please see below for comments and suggestions for revision.

Organization:

• The introduction clearly outlines the key aspects of the assignment
• The methods of expansion used in the definition are etymology, operating principle, examples, comparison and contrast, analysis of parts, and visuals
• The methods work appropriately and are presented in an organized manner
• The center alignment of visuals makes the document look extra sleek and professional
• The bolded and enlarged headings are effective at organizing the document
• The “Hydropneumatic suspension” title below the expanded definition heading is a bit redundant considering how the entire document already focuses on defining hydropneumatic suspension

Expression:

• A professional tone is maintained throughout the document
• The expression is clear and concise

Content:

• The document includes all of the required elements: introduction, objective, parenthetical definition, sentence definition, expanded definition, visuals, and works cited
• The document is missing in-text citations
• The analysis of the two parts of a typical hydropneumatic suspension system is relatively difficult to follow since Figure 2 is labeled in French
• In the sentence “By examining Fig. 3, readers can have a closer view of the second part, and a better understanding of the functionality of such a system,” it may be more clear to explicitly say “the swinging arm” rather than “the second part.”
• A parenthetical definition of “multiplication effect” may help improve the reader’s understanding of hydropneumatic suspension

Visuals:

• Figure 1 adds a nice pop of color and makes the document more interesting
• Figure 2 is labeled in French and is therefore difficult to understand
• The differences between Figure 2 and Figure 3 are visually unclear. Labelling Figure 3 or circling the differences may help the reader better understand the parts and functionality of a hydropneumatic suspension system.
• The figures do not have a title and should either contain the full reference citation or an in-text citation

Works Cited List:

• The references are cited correctly using MLA

Grammar and Typos:

• There are no obvious grammatical errors
• In the sentence “A typical hydropneumatic suspension system consists of 2 main parts,” small numbers ranging from one to ten should generally be spelled out

Concluding Comments:
The definitions for hydropneumatic suspension are interesting, concise, and well-organized. The most effective methods of expansion used to define hydropneumatic suspension are operating principle and examples. Some possible revisions to consider are:

• Adding a title to the figures
• (Re)labeling figures 2 and 3 in English
• Including in-text citations

Thank you for sharing and please feel free to ask any questions. Overall, great work!

Link to Definition Reviewed:

Jade’s Definition