To: Gareth Yuen
From: Salma Ismail
Peer Review for the term: Gas BlowBack
Thank you, Gareth, for submitting the definition post of the term ‘Gas BlowBack’ in our team forum. Please see the review of the document below and suggestions for improvements.
First Impressions:
A well-crafted definition of the term’ gas blowback’ that meets the assignment requirements, including a detailed introduction, three terms of definition, four types of expansions, one of which can be visual, and a work cited section. A few improvements are needed to the grammar, visuals, and work cited list, which are explained below.
Organization:
- This document is well organized; it contains clear headings and is in the order mentioned in the introduction.
- The target audience is well-specified and provides a detailed image of who will read this work.
Introduction:
- The introduction is to the point, stating the purpose of the post and what the reader expects.
- Consider rephrasing the term “general public” as you later identify the target audience as individuals interested in owning an airsoft gun, not the general population as a whole.
Definitions:
- Parenthetical and sentence definitions are clear and meet the requirements based on the outlined definitions and examples mentioned in the course’s textbook, Technical Communication.
- Expanded principles include five types of expansions; operating principle, visual, comparison and contrast, history and required conditions.
- Each expanded definition is followed by a question to support the learning outcome of the definition to the reader, which is an excellent addition to the document.
Visuals:
- This is a great visual, as it clearly labels the different mechanisms within a blowback airsoft pistol. Add arrows to show how the gun shoots out airsoft BBs (chambered), as described in the operating principle, since your term refers to the gas blowback mechanism of the gun, not the airsoft gun itself.
- To avoid the image becoming blurry when zoomed in, please enlarge the image to clarify the terms mentioned in the figure.
Grammar/Typos:
- At times you refer to your term Blowback while other times, you refer to it as BlowBack. Please correct this capitalization error and only have one style in your document.
- If you use the terms ‘pistol’ and ‘gun’ interchangeably, note this to your target audience, as they may understand it as two different objects.
Work cited:
- The in-text citation is APA; however, the work cited list does not follow APA citation for the website. Please correct this error.
Conclusions/suggested revisions:
All of your definitions are well-written and informative and serve their purpose of explaining the concept of ‘blowback’ to the target audience. Please read over the following suggestions and make any necessary amendments to your document, which will elevate your work and inform others of gas blowback:
- Edit your introduction per the recommendations in the ‘introduction’ section mentioned above.
- Enlarge the figure in the ‘Visual’ section of your document and add arrows to enhance the learning of the tool to adequately explain the mechanism of gas blowback (see the note above).
- Use only one style throughout the document to have consistent capitalization.
- Correcting your work cited list to be within the guidelines of APA formatting.
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