Peer Review of Long’s Assignment

Date: February 13th

To: Long You

From : Sonja Tang

Peer Review / Term: Registered Kinesiologist

Thank you for submitting the definition assignment for lesson 1:3; this is an very enjoyable and useful read! Please see the review of the document below with suggestions for improvements.

First Impressions:

This looks like an impressive definition document of the term ‘registered kinesiologist.’ The assignment requirements are well-organized, including appropriate visuals, however, the visuals can be slightly enlarged for better view The works cited list is correctly formatted.

Organization:

•  A good introduction to the assignment with a clear and detailed description of intended readers and circumstances.
• This looks like a well-organized document; the bolding of headings helped with readability.
• All visuals and figures are correctly cited
• The document ends abruptly, maybe a short concluding passage that returns the reader to the initial description of the “registered kinesiologist.”

Expression:

• The expression of the definitions is well done. The parenthetical definition clearly identifies that registered kinesiologists are regulated and governed by provinces with the exception of Ontario.
• The sentence definition provides a brief overview of the profession and its functions. The expanded definition provides a more detailed description of what kinesiologists do and how they help people. All of the definitions provide accurate and concise descriptions of the profession.
• Overall, the expression is clear and the tone is professional: clear, to the point and concise.
• It could be improved by providing more details about how kinesiologists work in each of the areas outlined. Additionally, examples of what kinesiologists do in each area could be included to provide a more comprehensive overview.

Content:

• The document is complete according to the assignment requirements; it includes
  • A detailed introduction
  • Three forms of definition
  • Four types of expansion
  • A visual
  • A works cited list

 Visuals:

• The visuals supports your points however, the visuals are too small and more explanation of these visuals will assist in understanding.

 Works Cited List:

•  An impressive works cited list
• Correctly formatted

Grammar and Typos:

• Good use of grammar in the entire assignment with no typos.

 Concluding Comments:

 Your definition is interesting to read, informative and nicely organized, thank you. With the following edits, and a good proofread for small errors, this will be a really useful and excellent document:

• Elaborating on each of the areas Kinesiologists work in will provide a more comprehensive overview
• Correcting problems with visuals is needed
• Including a proper conclusion will be helpful

Thank you and please feel free to ask any questions, it has been a pleasure reviewing this work.