Assignment 1.3 – Peer Review of Gentrification Definition

To: Karolina Atehortua, Author

From: Jennifer Dunbar, Reviewer

Peer Review Term: Gentrification

Thank you for submitting the definition assignment for Unit 1.3. The purpose of this peer review is to provide positive, critical and constructive feedback to facilitate a deeper understanding of technical writing for a specific audience. Please see a breakdown of each section below, highlighting the many strengths and some suggestions for improvements.

First Impressions:

This document is very well organized and informative. While the introduction outlines the purpose of the assignment, the flow of this information could be refined (see below). All of the requirements are clearly met with well defined sections, including an appropriate term, three definitions of the term (parenthetical, sentence and expanded), four examples of expanded definitions and a works cited list. 

Organization:

• Each section is clearly defined as per the assignment instructions.
• The bolded headings for each section provide structure for an easy reading experience.

Expression:

• The tone is consistently professional and delivers the main points, however, the use of specific punctuation and grammar  should be reviewed to improve readability.
  • The introduction is written in sentence form, however, due to certain punctuation choices, they read like bullet points.
• The use of parenthetical definitions would be beneficial in both the History and Required Conditions definition section.
• The use of the term “poor people” could perhaps be replaced with “people from lower socioeconomic status”.

Content:

• This document provides all of the required sections as per the assignment instructions, including:
  • An introduction clearly outlining the goals of the assignment
  • Three forms of the definition (parenthetical, sentence and expanded)
  • Four examples of an expanded definition (history, operating principle, required conditions and a visual).
  • A works cited list.

Visuals:

• The source that is used provides a clear visual for the intended audience, while also introducing other aspects of the term.
• The title of the visual should be formatted differently, as per the textbook examples. (see p.397)

Grammar and Typos:

• The sentence structure in the introduction reads like bullet points and could benefit from replacing the periods with commas.
• Both Canadian and U.S. English grammar is used. To make the document more consistent, use one or the other.
• The use of capitalization after a comma is incorrect.
• Please ensure all sentences end with a period.
• Definitions:
  • Parenthetical Definition: a parentheses or synonym should be used to reflect the requirements (see p.397)
  • Sentence Definition: This is a well written sentence, however, the addition of a comma after ‘Gentrification’ and the removal of ‘is’ reflect the definition requirements (see p.398)
  • Required Conditions Definition: It is redundant to use ‘The causes’ and ‘required conditions’ in the opening sentence. A suggestion would be to use the latter as this is the specific example of the definition being used. In addition to this, a suggestion would be to remove the colon and continue to use commas to list the conditions, but without capitalization.
• In-text citations are used correctly.

Works Cited

APA 7th edition is used very successfully in this section, however, there are few minor changes that could be made to fully comply with the guidelines.

• In addition to the year of publication, the month and day should also be included.
• A comma should be placed after ‘2023’ in each citation.
• The citation for the visual should be revisited.

Concluding Comments:

This assignment was presented in a professional and well thought out manner, making it an enjoyable assignment to read. With only some minor revisions needed to address the above feedback, the final version will no doubt deliver on its intended purpose:

• editing for typos and grammatical errors (see notes above)
• revisiting three definitions (see notes above)
• editing the works cited to adhere to all APA guidelines

Thank you for putting so much effort into this assignment. It was a pleasure to review and provide feedback, with the ultimate goal of strengthening an already solid piece of work. Please do not hesitate to reach out with any questions.

Link to Definition: https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl30199c2022w2/2023/02/08/13-assignment-three-definitions/