Assignment 1:3 Peer Review – Gerrymandering

To: Liam Plosker, Author

From: Nina Nakanishi, Reviewer

Peer Review Term: Gerrymandering

Definition under review: https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl30199c2022w2/2023/02/08/13-assignment-three-definitions-2/

Thank you for submitting the definition assignment for 1:3. This is a peer review on the definitions for gerrymandering. Please see the documents below that describes strength and suggestions.

First Impressions:

This document is well structured and easy to read. Especially, the sentence definition is clear and concise. The expanded definitions have enough explanation for readers who does not have any information about gerrymandering before. However, some sentences seem to have some minor errors or parts to be revised. The documents would be strengthened by fixing these errors and overstuffed sentences.

Organization:

• The document is well organized with headings and titles
• A great introduction to explain the purpose and the overview of the assignment
• Standardizing heading would make it easier to read. For example, use higher heading for “expanding definitions” and lower heading for four sections within the “expanding definitions”
• The reference list and in-text citation must follow either APA or MLA style

Expressions:

• The sentence definition is written in concise and simple sentence. It is easy to understand for readers
• No jargon is used
• Overall, the tone is formal but some sentences can be shortened

Content:

• This document contains all the required sections of the assignment
• The parenthetical definition is not written in the correct format. The definition of the term must be described in parenthesis
• The situation and audience needs to explain the situation where the term is used with ambiguity
• The section “Analysis of Parts” has very concise explanation of the situation where “gerrymandering” is used
• The visuals are interesting and easy for the readers to understand the flow of how gerrymandering occurs

Concluding Comments:

Thank you for writing an interesting and informative definitions. Below are some suggestions that strengthen and clarify your definitions:

• The first sentence in the “required Conditions” section can be shortened as it seems overstuffed
• It seems to miss some in-text citation. Please check which sentence needs citations
• Double check for minor grammatical errors, such as the use of commas
• Double check the reference list for minor APA errors