To: Gareth Yuen
From: Salma Ismail
Date: February 28, 2023
Subject: Peer Review on Formal Report Proposal
First Impressions:
This is an excellent report proposal; it is clear and concise while addressing the issue in an easy-to-read manner for the target audience. The proposal is well organized and includes appropriate bolding.
Introduction and Statement of the Problem:
The introduction provided sufficient background information to contextualize the issue the proposal aims to address and the consequences if the problem goes unresolved. Please add the sources of the information obtained regarding the history of speed limits in Canada.
Proposed Solutions:
The proposal identifies strong supporting evidence on the benefits of installing speed cameras. The example of how the solution has previously worked in other countries was an excellent addition as it speaks to its effectiveness, enticing the decision-makers to consider applying this proposal. Please add your sources of the cameras’ effectiveness in Hong Kong to strengthen your point. Rewrite ‘7’ as ‘seven’ as this is a formal report.
Scope:
The proposal outlines a well-thought-out range of questions that address various issues, including cost, input from residents and location of the cameras.
Methods:
While online surveys benefit from being accessible to a larger population, consider the response rate you may receive. Adding relevant information regarding crashes due to speedy driving and how speed cameras would effectively alleviate this issue may increase the response rates. Moreover, highlighting the importance of their input in alleviating these issues will result in a more significant response rate. Therefore, showcasing to the reader how the proposal will implement the survey and the practices that will be used to engage community members will strengthen your proposal.
Provide information about where the online survey will be posted; will it be advertised on Facebook and Instagram or emailed to Vancouver residents? How would you get their emails without breaking confidentiality? How will you ensure that respondents live in Vancouver without violating their privacy?
Secondly, consider visiting a location where you can speak to residents instead of simply posting it on social media. For example, setting up in front of a Community Centre or on UBC campus to gather feedback by be an effective way to increase responses and gather meaningful data and not rely solely on online surveys. This way, the proposal gathers quantitative and qualitative data, enriching the findings.
Please correct the word ‘surgery’ and rewrite ‘countries utilization’ to ‘countries’ utilization’ as it is a grammatical error.
Qualifications:
The proposal indicates a personal interest in the issue as a concerned citizen.
Concluding Comments:
Overall, the proposal is very strong, and reading it was a pleasure. It addresses an important issue, and the proposed solution may be transferable to other neighbourhoods in Vancouver to ensure everyone’s safety. The proposal can be further improved by making the following edits:
- Include references in the ‘Introduction’ section regarding establishing speed limits in Canada and the ‘Proposed Solution’ section noting the utilization of speed cameras in Hong Kong to validate your findings.
- Demonstrate how the survey will gather meaningful data and indicate how it will be shared online.
- Avoid minor grammatical errors, as mentioned in previous sections.
Great work!
Link to Gareth’s Proposal: https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl30199c2022w2/2023/02/25/formal-proposal-for-improving-road-safety-in-west-vancouver-residential-area/
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