To: Aman Johal, English 301 Student
From: Delsther James Edralin, English 301 Student
Date: February 28, 2023
Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report Proposal: Formal Proposal to Increase Student Transportation Methods on Campus
Thank you for your formal report proposal. It is a very well-written and engaging read. Please see the peer review of the report below.
Initial Impressions:
The formal report is a well-researched proposal that addresses a real problem faced by students at UBC. The introduction, a short information about UBC and the schedules of its students, sets the stage for the problem statement, the lack of an easier ride-sharing option. Both are compelling and easy to follow. The proposed solution, a rentable e-scooter model, is reasonable and practical. It is also supported by case studies and why the e-bike model adopted does not work.
The scope, mainly the reasons for the lack of use of the e-bike model and the challenges for a new ride-sharing option, are appropriate inquiries to assess the feasibility of this solution. The primary method to source data (surveys) is also fitting for investigating the feasibility of the implementation. In addition, other sources from publications and articles is also helpful for this formal report.
The author’s qualifications are appropriate. They experienced the problem and have the skills to address workflow problems to carry out the proposed research. The use of proper citations also enhances the credibility of the proposal. For grammar and technical errors, the proposal does not have any major issues other than missing commas and typos.
Overall, the proposal presents a strong argument for increasing student transportation methods on campus. With some minor improvements, this proposal has the potential to be an excellent formal report.
Organization
- The report is well-organized and follows a clear structure, making it easy to read and understand.
- Each section has proper formatting and is separated with subheadings.
- The references contain proper citations.
Expression
- The report is easy to understand for the intended audience.
- The report maintains a professional tone consistently.
Formal Report Content
Introduction:
- The introduction effectively sets up the proposal by introducing the need for a new transportation solution on campus.
- The use of a short but clear background about UBC’s geography to support and set up the problem is appropriate.
- The background also provided necessary quantitative information to give the readers information about how large the campus is.
- The problem of traveling on time to different areas of the campus is explained well.
Audience Description
- The audience description is outlined clearly and is appropriate for the proposal.
Statement of the Problem
- The statement of the problem is clearly defined, outlining the challenges students face in getting to classes on time and effectively making the case for why a new transportation solution is needed.
- Great supporting statement on the consequences of being late to classes or exams due to this problem.
Proposed Solution
- The proposed solution of adopting a rentable e-scooter model is effective and feasible.
- The benefits of e-scooters such as decreased travel time and accessibility are well explained.
- The solution is supported well with case studies of places such as UBC Okanagan that already operate e-scooters, which strengthens the argument for feasibility.
- The explanation of the current model, rentable e-bikes, and its downsides are highlighted to show the proposal can be seen as a more effective option.
Scope
- The scope of the proposal is well-defined, with clear research questions that will guide the inquiry.
- The scope is focused, realistic, and has all the necessary areas of inquiry relating to the problem and solution covered clearly and concisely.
- Consider adding extra areas of inquiry assessing the environmental impact of introducing e-scooters on campus as it may be helpful for further comparison on other modes of traveling around UBC, safety considerations of e-scooters, and costs or funding for implementing the proposed solution.
Methods
- The primary data source, using random sampling across campus and publications, is a viable method for gaining insight into the problem and their openness to the proposal.
- Secondary data sources, publications, articles, and expert opinions relating to ride-sharing options are also effective in gathering the positives and negatives about the proposed solution.
Qualifications
- The qualifications are clearly stated in the proposal, including their program and degree status at UBC, and their previous experience as a pharmacy manager.
- The author’s experience rushing across campus to attend back-to-back classes is relevant due to their first-hand experience with the problem they are proposing to solve.
Grammar and Technical Errors
There are minor punctuation errors and typos in the introduction, statement of the problem, proposed solution, scope, and methods.
Introduction:
- “… options to assistant students…”
Statement of the Problem:
- “… to fulfill and supplement…”
Proposed Solution:
- “In fact, UBC’s Okanagan campus…”
- “… Lime already have e-bikes…”
Scope:
- “… key stakeholders, Lime…”
Methods:
- “…current use, and barriers…”
- “… towards an alternative ride share options.”
Final Impressions
Thank you for your effort in writing a very well-researched formal report proposal. You have presented a clear problem that is relatable and occurring and proposed a solution that is effective and realistic. Below are some suggestions and concluding comments on the report:
- Excellent proposed solution section. Thoroughly researched and supported with examples from other locations such as UBC Okanagan that have implemented the proposed ride-sharing option.
- Consider adding environmental impacts, safety considerations, and costs or funding in the scope section as additional areas of inquiry.
- Well written with only a few minor technical errors to amend.
Excellent work, it was both informative and engaging. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me. Thank you for taking the time to read my review as well.
Link to Aman’s Formal Report: https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl30199c2022w2/2023/02/24/95841/
Leave a Reply