Peer Review of Formal Report Proposal for Aman Johal

To: Aman Johal, English 301 Student

From: Corbyn Kwan, English 301 Student

Date: March 1, 2023

Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report Proposal for Aman Johal

Thank you so much for the formal report proposal. Please read my peer review of the report below:

Initial Impressions:    

The report did a good job of identifying a frustrating problem (lack of student transportation on campus) and proposed a solution (e-scooters). The report is well-structured making it easy to read and understand. The report has outlined a clear plan to investigate this problem and solution. Revisions aren’t entirely necessary apart from a few grammar errors and typos. Overall, the report has sufficient information to be comprehended after a first read.

Organization

• The proposal is well-organized and follows a logical structure that is easy to read.
• The bolding of the sub-sections and the spacing makes the sections easy to read.
• The numbered list of problems makes it easy to reference and follow.

Statement of Problem

• “UBC is home to more than 60,000 undergraduate students offering them a multitude of courses to fulfill and supplement their degree of choice, whether it be through core courses or electives” could be simplified. Most of the information in this sentence is not required for the reader to understand the proposal.
• Some redundant “extra words” could be removed such as “cause a”, and “that” so that the section can be easier to read.

Proposed Solution

• The example of Kelowna and Lime was stellar. It allows readers to understand the frustration of the problem since other cities don’t have this problem.
• A contrasting example of other e-bike or e-scooter options in Vancouver would be helpful.
• Remove “that” so that it’s easier to read.
• I enjoyed the reasoning behind the solution.

Scope

• Enjoyed the numbering listed format. Makes it a lot easier to read and reference during peer review.

Methods

• The use of primary and secondary sources is excellent. Allows for new perspectives on the topic.
• “random sampling” is a term I’m not familiar with

Typos/Grammar

• “Okanogan” is Okanagan
• “barriers for use” – I think this is a grammar error
• Inconsistent use between e-scooter and eScooter

Overall final impressions

Thank you for writing a stellar formal proposal. The topic is fascinating, and the report itself contains information that allows the ideas to be easily understood. However, it would be appreciated if some sections of the report could be written with fewer words and if the grammar and consistency of some words are resolved.

It was a pleasure reading your work. Feel free to contact me if you have any inquiries.

Sincerely,

Corbyn

Link to Formal Report:  https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl30199c2022w2/2023/02/24/95841/